


till then

by allweneedofhell



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Drug Addiction, F/F, Fluff and Smut, High School, Mutual Pining, they are 18 in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2020-09-25 18:24:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20376094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allweneedofhell/pseuds/allweneedofhell
Summary: a take on what happened after the winter formal; lexi comes over and finds rue. mostly centered from lexi and rue's POVs. might throw Jules in there eventually, we shall see!





	1. Suspended In Disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "i'm begging time to move faster...suspended in this disaster"

Rue had woken up in some sketchy positions before. As an addict, she kind of had to expect it. However, the day after the dance, she woke up in the most innocent, yet most confusing position possible. 

As the morning light shone in her bedroom, Rue groaned. Her head  _ fucking _ hurt and the last thing she wanted was to be awake right now. She was curled into a small ball, head resting on....someone’s lap? She quickly panicked. Did her mom find her last night after she passed out? Did Gia? She slowly craned her head to see who she was using as a pillow.

It wasn’t her mom. Or Gia. Thank god. It was Lexi.

A thousand questions flooded Rue’s brain all at once. Did she invite Lexi over in her drugged out state? If she didn’t, how did she get in here? What the hell happened last night?

Lexi was asleep sitting up, head resting at an awkward angle on Rue’s headboard. She was snoring softly, and still wearing her dress from the night prior. Her glittery makeup was smeared down her face, as if she had been crying. Rue was always letting people down, but seeing Lexi like this, knowing her night was probably ruined taking care of Rue, made her stomach drop. 

Rue stayed frozen on Lexi’s lap, trying not to wake the girl. She stared at the ceiling, trying to piece together the events of last night. Then it hit her, hard. Jules.

Jules fucking left. 

The love of her life was  _ gone _ . 

She felt the tears well up in her eyes and quickly rubbed them away. She really didn’t want to wake Lexi up to her sobbing. Rue had probably done enough of that last night. 

Slowly, Rue started to remember what happened after she watched the girl she loved ride away on that train. She remembered sobbing into Jules’ jacket on her way home, barely able to breathe. She remembered standing outside her house, deciding to crawl in through her bedroom window so that she wouldn’t wake her mom. She remembered finding her secret stash of oxy’s, in an old sweatshirt tucked far back in her closet, and snorting a fat line. But that’s where her memories ended. 

As Rue was slowly piecing together her night, Lexi started to stir. Her eyes fluttered open, squinting as the morning sun flooded her eyes. She looked down to find Rue staring up at her. 

“Hi” Rue said weakly. Her throat felt so fucking dry, like she hadn’t spoke in days. 

“Hey Rue” Lexi said warmly, resting her hand on Rue’s curls. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit. What happened last night? Why are you here?” As soon as Rue blurted out that last question, she realized how rude she sounded and saw the pain flash behind Lexi’s eyes. “I-I’m sorry Lex. I’m just confused.”

“No, it’s okay” Lexi quickly shook her head. She was about to tell Rue the whole story, how she got hammered at the dance and came over to profess her love, but decided against it. “I got drunk last night at the dance and after you left with Jules, I went looking for you. Your bedroom window was open when I got here.” 

Shit, Rue thought. Not the smartest move to leave your window wide fucking open at 1 am. 

“When I crawled through the window, you were passed out on your bed. I thought you were just tired, but then I noticed the book with white shit all over it and knew exactly what happened.” Lexi swallowed, trying to get rid of the giant fucking lump in her throat. With tears in her eyes, she continued on. “I took care of you. Made you drink water and eat. Held you till you stopped crying. And stopped calling out for Jules.”

That part stung for both Lexi and Rue. Lexi always put Rue first, their whole lives, and then Jules moved into town and Rue couldn’t think of anyone else. She looked at Jules the way Lexi always dreamed Rue would look at her. Despite all that, she still would do anything for her. 

“I’m sorry Lex. I can’t believe I fucking relapsed.”

“I can.” Rue looked shocked by that statement. She thought she was doing great lately. “You were staying sober for Jules. You weren’t fooling me.” Rue had never heard Lexi speak so bluntly before. She wanted to get angry, to deny that she was only sober for Jules, to call Lexi a fucking liar, but she knew she was full of shit. Jules’ ultimatum was the only reason Rue got sober in the first place. If Jules hadn’t told Rue that she didn’t want to be around her if she kept doing drugs, Rue would still be popping pills every night. 

“So...why did you go looking for me in the first place?” 

Lexi’s stomach dropped. Last night, she was so full of drunken confidence, and today, she was back to her shy self. Cassie’s words popped into her head “ _ Then go and do whoever the fuck you want” _ . 

_ This is it, Lexi, she told herself. It’s now or never. _

“Rue, I-” Despite wanting to tell her, the words just wouldn’t come out. She shifted, moving Rue out her lap, so they were facing each other on the bed. Without any more hesitation before she chickened out, she took her hand and moved it to the back of Rue’s neck, pushing their lips together. At first, Rue didn’t kiss back, she was too shocked to move. Then slowly, her lips moved against Lexi’s, testing out this new feeling. It wasn’t like kissing Jules, she didn’t get a rush of electricity straight to her body. But she felt something else. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time. 

_ Rue felt safe. _

Just as Rue was getting into the kiss, moving her hands to Lexi’s hips to pull her closer, Lexi abruptly pulled back. She looked fucking terrified. 

“I-I’m sorry” She stammered through tears. “You’re with Jules, I never should have-” Before she could finish her statement, she was running out Rue’s bedroom door, leaving Rue confused as all hell. 

“Fuckin’ hell” Rue sighed. 

  
  


…..

  
  
  


Lexi leaned against the front door of Rue’s house, catching her breath from the kiss and her abrupt escape. 

_ What the FUCK is wrong with me?  _ She thought, replaying the past five minutes over and over again as she walked home. Deep down, Lexi was kind of proud of herself for being so damn bold. It was a whole other side of her that she had never accessed before. But she felt so fucking stupid for running out like that.  _ Coward. _

Rue did kiss her back. She couldn’t believe it. Half of her wanted to believe she made it up. But her hips still tingled from Rue touching them, pulling her closer. The thought of it all made her simultaneously sick to her stomach and turned on.

It would never happen again though. Rue loves Jules. And even though Lexi had no idea why Jules wasn’t there last night, or where she was, she knew nothing would ever change that. Rue kissed her out of pity. Or she was still fucked up from the oxy’s she snorted. That had to be it. 

Lexi stuck the key in her front door, hoping, PRAYING, no one would be up. Not even Cassie. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She wanted to hop in the shower, get in comfy pajamas and watch The OC for the thousandth time. Lexi quietly shut the door behind her, and began to creep up the stairs to her room when…

“Long night sis?” Cassie was eating a bowl of cereal at the dining room table, staring at Lexi, eyebrows raised with a slight smirk. “Seems like you took my advice.”

“I don’t want to talk about it Cass.”

“It was Rue, right?”  _ God damn it,  _ Lexi thought.  _ Cassie’s too fucking good.  _

“Cass. I said, I don’t. want. to. talk. about. it. “

“Fine. Are you ok though?”

“I guess” Lexi yelled, already heading up the stairs, lifting her dress over her head. 

She slammed the door to the bathroom, sliding her back down the door. Lexi couldn’t hold it in any longer. She began sobbing, holding her legs to her chest. 

Rue didn’t love her back.


	2. Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rue has some serious realizations about her feelings for Lexi and Jules in this.  
Still kinda angsty. It will be a bumpy road, but Rexi shippers should love this fic :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "god damn, you got me going mad. god damn, it's an obsession."

Rue didn’t move for a long time after Lexi left. So many thoughts were racing through her mind; it was hard to keep up. For all those years, she thought Lexi was straight. Hell, Rue even had a crush on her back when they were 13 and Lexi wanted to learn how to kiss for her date to the dance. That kiss ignited something in Rue, something she always knew was there but was scared to admit. Lexi seemed put off by the idea of kissing girls at the time, so slowly but surely, Rue’s crush went away. The drugs suppressed any romantic feelings she could have felt through the next couple years. That is, until Jules. 

Rue couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her blonde hair that always smelled like a tropical paradise. Her cute makeup that changed depending on her mood. Her outfits that hugged her body just right. 

Even though Jules made Rue incredibly happy, she also made her incredibly sad.  _ The highs are high, the lows are...low,  _ she remembered telling Fez. And that couldn’t be more accurate. Rue felt like she was on cloud fucking nine at the end of the dance. Kissing Jules was a high unlike any other, even fucking fentanyl. But she still fucking left. 

Rue turned to look at her phone. Deep down, she was hoping Jules would text her, tell her she’s okay, that she made a mistake, that she should have stayed with Rue. But Rue knew that Jules was probably having the time of her life in the city with fucking Anna, the other girl she loved. The carefree girl Rue could never be. 

  
  
  


She debated texting Jules for what seemed like forever. Even typed out some messages to her before quickly deleting them.

_ hey. please let me know u are ok.  _

_ I’m sorry i didn’t leave with u.  _

_ I love you. plz come back to me _

Rue threw her phone down in disgust, not sending a single message. She was choking back tears when she heard a soft knock on her door. 

“Rue?” Gia peeked her head in the room. “Dinner’s ready.” Quickly realizing Rue wasn’t okay, Gia came in, closing the door behind her, sitting next to her sister. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Jules. She fucking left” Rue cried out in between sobs. “We were going to run away together, and I just couldn’t leave. I couldn’t hurt you and mom again. But she just left without me. I wasn’t enough for her.”

Gia wrapped her sister up in her arms, hands running up and down her back, trying to soothe Rue. Gia knew deep down Rue had probably relapsed last night, but didn’t want to pry. She was just glad her big sister was okay. 

“It’s going to be okay, Rue.” Gia assured. “It’s just winter break. She’s going to come back. She can’t just leave school. And her dad. And you.”

Rue wanted to scream. Jules had fucking left her. Rue knew she would come back to school, but that wasn’t the point. At her most vulnerable, Jules just dipped. And that killed her inside. 

She started to relax in Gia’s arms, the panic and sadness subsiding. And then, the thoughts of Jules started to fade to the back of her mind. After all, she did leave Rue crying at the train station. That couldn’t be love. Jules had been there for Rue, but only when it was convenient for her. Unlike someone else.  _ Lexi _ . Lexi in her fucking formal dress, holding Rue till she fell asleep. Lexi who would never abandon her. Lexi that kissed her and made Rue feel safe. “I’m not really in the mood for dinner, G. I’ve got something I’ve got to do.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ve got to go talk to Lexi.” And with that, Rue was gathering her things and heading out the door. She knew she had to make things right with Lexi. She was the only person she had left. The only thing stable in Rue’s life besides her mom and Gia. And she was slowly realizing that maybe, just maybe, the girl she needed was in front of her the whole damn time.

  
  


……

  
  


After spending what seemed like hours on the bathroom floor, Lexi finally got in the shower. She couldn’t bring herself to leave, until the water was ice cold and goosebumps covered her arms. Cassie occasionally knocked on the door, making sure Lexi was alive in the bathroom. After all, she had been in there for about 3 hours. Lexi reassured her that she was fine, and finally emerged from the steamy bathroom, wrapped in her favorite baby blue towel. 

“Seriously Lex. What is going on?” Cassie was sitting on her bed, looking at Lexi with concern.  _ She doesn’t waste any time,  _ Lexi thought. She was getting annoyed with Cass, but she knew she was just worried sick, considering she had never seen Lexi this upset in forever. When Cassie woke up to an empty bedroom in the morning, she knew Lexi must have taken her advice. She was hopeful that it was Rue that Lexi was referencing last night; she thought they would make a cute couple. But Cassie saw the way Rue looked at Jules, it was fucking impossible to miss. She didn’t want Lexi to get hurt. 

Lexi sighed, sitting on the edge of Cassie’s bed, her back facing her sister. “I kissed Rue.” She whispered so softly that Cassie barely heard her. “And then ran out of the house crying like a fucking idiot.”

Cassie placed a reassuring hand on Lexi’s back; she knew that Lexi making a move that bold was a huge deal. 

“What, did she not kiss you back? Did she pull away?”

“No, she kissed me back. But she’s with  _ Jules.  _ I know something must have happened between the two of them, since Jules wasn’t there and Rue was sobbing all night. But she was calling Jules name the whole time I was there. She kissed me back out of pity…” Lexi trailed off, biting her lip to try to prevent herself from sobbing again. 

“Lex, have you checked insta today?”

“No...why?”

Cassie quickly unlocked her phone and pulled up Jules’ instagram page. She clicked on her story and showed Lexi. The first pictures were from last night, of her and Rue holding each other. Then, Jules on a train. Then Jules with two people Lexi didn’t know.  _ Must be her friends from the city,  _ she thought. Then, Jules, with her lips pressed to one of their cheeks. The mystery girl was gorgeous. They continued to flick through the photos, and Lexi observed that Jules was looking at this girl like Rue looked at her.  _ Shit. _

“I really hope Rue doesn’t see those photos.” Lexi’s mind wandered to last night. Rue relapsed so easily when Jules wasn’t giving her the attention she craved. What would she do if she saw these photos? Did Rue know about this mystery girl?

“You know she’s not on insta, Lex.”

“That doesn’t mean that she doesn’t check Jules’ socials everyday.” Lexi knew. Because Lexi would check the limited social media pages Rue had, sometimes more than once a day. 

“Listen,” Cassie started, draping her arm over her sister’s shoulder. “You and Rue have been friends for-fucking-ever. I’m sure she will understand. You are always there for her, Lex. Even with Jules in the picture, she would have to be blind or just plain fucking stupid not to see that.” She gently squeezed Lexi’s shoulder. “Let’s order pizza, and watch the OC okay? I know that will make you feel better.” Cassie always knew how to cheer Lexi up. Lexi smiled at Cass, the biggest smile she could muster up given how sad she felt. 

“Sounds great. I love ya, Cass.”

“You too, Lex.”

Cassie picked up her phone and began to order pizza while Lexi changed into her comfiest pajamas, a huge old Nascar shirt that had been her dads. She had been wearing it since middle school, ever since he left. There were holes all over it, but Lexi didn’t care. She would never get rid of it; it was one of the only good things she had left that reminded her of her dad. 

Cassie joined Lexi on her bed with her laptop in hand. “Pizza will be about twenty minutes. I got our favorites.” She already had the OC cued up, one of Lexi’s favorite episodes. As the sounds of “California” played over the laptop speakers, the doorbell rang.

“It must be the pizza.” Lexi said, eyes glued to the screen, even though she had already seen the episode at least 100 times. 

“No way, I just ordered it.” Cass ran downstairs to get the door. Lexi had always loved the OC. She never saw it when it aired, since she had been about 3, but she saw a marathon on Soap network once and was hooked. The next week, she had bought all the DVD box sets, and binged them in her room with Cassie. They laughed, they cried, they argued about who was hotter: Seth or Ryan (Cassie always loved Ryan, silently bruting while Lexi pretended to love Seth and his witty personality even though she secretly always had a huge crush on Summer). Cassie running back up the stairs broke Lexi’s train of thought. 

“Where’s the pizza?” Lexi asked, slowly turning her eyes from the screen, only to see Cassie bringing Rue into their room. 

“Um, I’m gonna give you guys a minute.” Cassie said, winking at Lexi behind Rue’s back. Rue stood shyly at the door to their room, staring down at her feet. She was wearing her dad’s old maroon hoodie and a lime green crop top underneath, with her signature black shorts and converse. She looked adorable, nervous even, Lexi thought. 

Then Lexi remembered she was wearing her dad’s ratty old t-shirt. It’s not that Rue had never seen her in it before, but it was different now. Lexi wanted to look good for Rue. She wanted to give off that vibe of “i don’t give a fuck” confidence that Jules gave off. Lexi grabbed the pillow closest to her and used it to cover up her small frame.

“Uh, hey Lex.” Rue still wasn’t looking at her, eyes still focused on the carpet. 

“Hey.” Lexi whispered. Her stomach was in knots. She didn’t know what Rue was going to say about their kiss earlier, but she had a feeling that it wasn’t going to be good. “What’s up?”

Rue let out a loud sigh before moving over and sitting on the edge of Lexi’s bed, facing Lexi who was in a ball by her headboard. She was still hiding behind her pillow, using it as a barrier between her and Rue. 

“Listen, about earlier…” 

“I’m so sorry, Rue.” Lexi blurted out before Rue could say another word. Rue’s eyes finally met Lexi’s. “I know you love Jules. I know I shouldn’t have kissed you, I just...couldn’t hold it in any longer. Rue, I-”

“Jules left.” Rue interrupted. Despite all the pain she had been through, and how devastated she was earlier, she managed to keep her composure. Being around Lexi was slowly starting to put her mind at ease. “And I kissed you back. That french kissing lesson years ago really paid off for you huh?” Rue smirked at Lexi then, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. 

Lexi had to laugh at that point. Seeing Rue smile for the first time in what seemed like forever made her feel all warm inside. She grabbed her pillow and playfully hit Rue with it, all while giggling so hard her sides began to hurt. 

“You’re a good teacher.” She managed to get out in between a fit of laughter. Rue reached behind Lexi, grabbing her other pillow, hitting the girl back until they were having a full on pillow fight on Lexi’s bed. It was like they were kids again, without a care in the world.

Lexi could barely breathe anymore from their intense battle, and threw her pillow to the side of her room, and collapsed back on her bed. Rue did the same and laid beside her. As she threw her arms to her side, her hand connected with Lexi’s and she interlaced their fingers together. Lexi really couldn’t catch her breath now, it hitched in her throat from the sudden contact. 

“You could really use another lesson though, Howard.” Rue said, head now turned to stare at Lexi. 

Lexi’s face was turning redder by the second.  _ Did Rue really just fucking say that?  _ She thought.  _ Am I losing it? _ She swallowed the lump in her throat, remembering that Rue did come all the way over here for her. Maybe she was getting over Jules after all. Maybe she just needed some comfort. Maybe she had feelings for Lexi. Whatever it was, Lexi wasn’t going to let another moment pass without Rue’s lips on hers. 

“Bring it, Bennett.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry to leave y'all with a cliffhanger!  
dominant lexi is my favorite lexi ;) what did y'all think? make sure to let me know!!
> 
> twitter is @darkjosdoormat if you want to rant about rexi.


	3. The Cuddler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dominant lexi reigns supreme!!!!!  
the relationship deepens, and some stuff goes DOWN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "the way you're killing me is perfect, stare until it makes me blind"

Rue didn’t know how long she had been kissing Lexi; it could have been hours. But she would never get over how  _ fucking _ good it felt. One hand was tangled in Lexi’s soft brown locks, while the other gripped her hips over her old tshirt. Their tongues danced together for dominance as Rue tried to pull Lexi even closer to her, reaching under her shirt, squeezing Lexi’s hip. Lexi moaned softly into Rue’s mouth. 

_ How did I not realize how fucking hot she is until now?  _ Rue thought. Sure, she always found Lexi to be gorgeous, but this was a new kind of attraction for Rue. Even Jules couldn’t bring out this side in her. Rue was always too terrified to even kiss her, and when they did, it was always so innocent. Rue had held back, because even though she loved Jules, she was fucking terrified of her, terrified of getting her heart broken. So, she always had that wall up. With Lexi, it was different. The way her skin felt on Rue’s hands caused warmth to spread straight from her fingertips throughout her whole body. Lexi’s hot lips on hers made the kiss so desperate, so full of lust that Rue could barely fucking breathe. She had to pull away.

“Holy fuck Lex.” Rue’s eyes met Lexi’s, that were so full of want that Rue immediately felt herself getting even more turned on. Lexi didn’t waste any time and pushed Rue onto her back, quickly getting on top of her and straddling her hips. 

“I don’t need anymore lessons.” She raised her eyebrows, smirking down at Rue before getting another taste of her soft lips. 

“Lex, Rue! The pizza’s-” Cassie burst into the room, dropping the pizza boxes to the floor when she saw her little sister on top of Rue. 

  
  


Immediately, Rue loosened her grip on Lexi’s hips as the girl on top of her flew off. Cassie noticed how fucking red both girls were, both out of breath with messy hair. 

“-uh, here. The pizza’s here lovebirds!” Cassie had to crack up at that. Never in her life did she think she was going to walk in on a situation like that. Lexi had always been so reserved, it was obvious Rue brought out a wilder side of her. 

Rue groaned as Lexi scooted over on the bed to make room for Cass. She wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. Sure, she had been in some embarrassing situations before, but those were all due to drugs. But this was something else. Rue had never been caught full blown making out with someone before, let alone with her best friend.

Lexi sensed Rue was highly uncomfortable. She was as well, but deep down, she knew Cassie didn’t care and wouldn’t tell a soul. And Lexi was also on cloud nine; she could still feel the heat from Rue’s lips on hers. It was absolutely breathtaking. 

“Pizza, Rue?” Lexi offered, trying to forget the situation. Rue couldn’t stop studying Lexi’s bedspread, she was too afraid to look at Cassie or Lexi.  _ What the hell just happened?  _ Rue thought as she accepted a greasy slice. 

Both sisters immersed themselves in watching the OC, but Rue couldn’t concentrate. It felt so fucking good to kiss Lexi, to have her on top, straddling Rue’s hips. Rue wanted  _ more.  _ She thought about how it would feel to have Lexi naked on top of her, and shuddered at the thought; her body was becoming hotter by the second. Rue’s imagination was running wild, thinking of all the things she would do to Lexi, the noises she would make, how their bodies would feel together, when Lexi snapped her back to reality. 

“You want to stay over?” The episode they were watching was already over; Rue had not paid attention to a second of it. 

“Uh, yeah.” Rue cleared her throat, trying to ignore the fact that she had just been thinking about fucking Lexi. “Let me just text my mom.” Staying at Lexi’s was never a problem, Rue’s mom knew it was the one safe place her daughter could be. 

“I’ll be over on my side of the curtain.” Cassie walked over to her room. “For my sake, please don’t be loud.” She let out with a laugh. There was only so much privacy in Cassie and Lexi’s shared room; only a thin white curtain separated the two. Lexi had heard Cass doing stuff with her many boyfriends a countless amount of times, but never had the tables been turned.

And then Rue and Lexi were alone again. Rue wanted to grab her by the back of her head, to pull her into another passionate kiss and rip that ratty tshirt off her. But for once, her head trumped her heart. She knew if her and Lexi were to have sex tonight, that would only vastly complicate things, and this was all so new. She had to take it slow. 

Lexi seemed to read Rue’s mind. She got under her comforter, holding up the other side for Rue, inviting her to cuddle up next to her. They faced one another with their arms wrapped around each other’s waists, so close their noses were practically touching. Rue had been in this position before, with Jules, but this felt way more intimate to her for some reason. When she had wrapped her arms around Jules’ tiny frame, it was almost to keep her there. Rue was scared if she let go, Jules would be gone. And in the end, she was right about that. 

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Lexi said softly, breaking Rue out of her trance. 

“I just want to take things slow, Lex.” She looked into Lexi’s eyes, so warm and full of love, Rue thought she might just melt away. “The thing with Jules-it fucked me up. But I know I like kissing you. And I don’t want it to stop anytime soon.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Rue. Promise.” Rue kissed the tip of Lexi’s nose before turning over, inviting the girl to spoon her. Rue was taller than any girl she knew, even some guys, but that didn’t stop her from needing to be the little spoon. She felt so safe in Lexi’s arms. Rue began to count Lexi’s heartbeat against her back; counting things always helped her feel at ease. She had been doing it since she was a little kid, whether it was ceiling tiles, or steps. Lexi’s heartbeat trumped them all though.  _ Is this what love feels like?  _ Rue thought. She had been head over heels in love with Jules but she never felt it back. Jules’ kisses felt superficial, even the night of the dance. She never had that twinkle in her eye when she looked at Rue. But Lexi. Lexi looked at Rue with all the love in the world. Like Rue was the only person in the world. And Rue needed that right now. Someone to love her for her. 

Counting Lexi’s heartbeats, Rue began to feel very sleepy. She could have sworn before sleep overtook her that Lexi whispered “I love you” into her neck. Rue had never been happier. 

  
  


…

  
  


It was 3 am when Lexi woke up to a buzzing noise. She turned around to her night stand, and checked her phone.  _ Huh, nothing.  _ She thought, before noticing Rue’s phone light up again. She was going to turn it on silent before going back to sleep, before she saw why it was buzzing. 

_ im sorry i left rue.  _

_ please forgive me.  _

_ be back after break. my dad came to the city to be with me for christmas. _

_ I love you.  _

Lexi stared at the messages for a long time.  _ Fucking Jules is going to ruin this,  _ she thought. Lexi had wanted Rue for years, and now she finally had her. She turned back over to look at Rue, her back facing Lexi, curled in a little ball.  _ She makes such a cute little spoon.  _

Lexi’s heart swelled looking at Rue; any logic she once had was out the window. She should have put the phone down, let Rue see the messages. She should have trusted what Rue said. Instead, she quickly deleted all of Jules’ text messages, put the phone on silent, and went back to spooning Rue. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooh boy, that might bite lexi in the ass later on.  
don't worry, rexi is still endgame and that will never change. 
> 
> i actually put names to the chapters, they are all song names by one of my fave bands, dance gavin dance. 
> 
> also, i made a spotify playlist based off Lexi and Rue's relationship. would y'all be interested in hearing it? lemme know!
> 
> follow me on twitter if you wish @darkjosdoormat


	4. On The Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Lexi and Rue need some serious help surprising the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "you got me on the run, you know me more than anybody"

Rue woke up the next morning to an empty bed. Because of her major abandonment issues, she shot up, and called Lexi’s name. Her brain wasn’t fully functioning yet ( _ was it ever? _ ) and she began to panic. 

“Good morning sleepyhead!” Lexi appeared in the doorway, with two plates stacked high with chocolate chip pancakes.  _ My favorite,  _ Rue thought, as the panic quickly subsided. Lexi had this crazy effect on her,  _ my personal xanax. _

“I thought you were...nevermind.” Rue realized how silly she sounded, waking up and thinking Lexi had just left her. Lexi didn’t leave when Rue would call her a bitch, and tell her to leave her the fuck alone. She wouldn’t leave when Rue would show up to her door asking for her to piss in a cup for her. She wouldn’t leave when Rue was calling out for Jules. “Thanks, Lex”. Rue smiled wide as she dove into the stack of chocolatey goodness. 

Rue had never ate faster. These were obviously homemade; Lexi had always been an amazing cook. She couldn’t remember the last time she spent the night at the Howards and woke up to an amazing breakfast. No matter what, Lexi would always wake up before her and cook for Rue. 

“You are so sloppy.” Lexi teased, giggling at Rue and her chocolate stained lips. “You’re eating like you’ve been starved for days”

“Hey! It’s not my fault you are such a good cook. And you know chocolate chip pancakes are my weakness.” Rue set down her plate, patting her stomach. “So fucking good, Howard.”

“Rue, you have chocolate all over your face.”

“Where?” Rue began to lick her lips, attempting to get rid of the mess she left. 

“C’mere.” Lexi pulled Rue in for a kiss. It was deliciously sweet, and that wasn’t because of the chocolate. Rue had the softest, sweetest lips Lexi had ever felt. Her experience was very limited, but in that moment, she thought no one would ever compare to Rue. 

“God, you’re amazing, you know that?” Rue said, as soon as Lexi kissed away the chocolate. 

“I know.” Lexi said playfully, before getting up, lifting her dad’s old shirt over her head. She had her bare back to Rue, naked except for a pair of black underwear that hugged her curves just right.  _ Taking it slow is going to be so fucking hard,  _ Rue thought, looking at Lexi’s lower back. She had the cutest dimples above the curve of her ass. Rue was practically drooling over her at this point, and Lexi fucking knew it. “So what do you want to do today?” She said suggestively, looking at Rue who was essentially eye-fucking her. 

“Uh, uhm, well I’ve got to go home for a bit and hang out with my mom and Gia.” Rue shook her head, trying to rid her mind from the dirty thoughts. “But tonight? Come over?” Rue had a plan. She wanted to do something to thank Lexi for all she had done. Nothing Rue could ever do would repay her, but when she was shoveling pancakes in her mouth this morning, she thought of something.  _ I’m gonna cook for Lexi. HER favorite.  _ Rue knew this would be a huge task; she couldn’t pour milk in her cereal without making a mess. The most she had ever done was boil water to make mac and cheese.  _ Thank god Lex loves pasta. How hard could it be?  _ Rue knew if she asked her mom, or even Gia for help, they had Rue’s back. Her little sister had been cooking for Rue for years. “And uh, don’t eat dinner beforehand.”

  
  
  


“Sounds good!” Lexi was almost fully dressed. She wore her favorite red v-neck, that dipped just low enough and a high waisted black skirt.  _ Fuck, she’s perfect,  _ Rue thought, unable to supress her thoughts anymore. She found herself unable to meet Lexi’s eyes, as she stared down at her breasts, popping out of her shirt.  _ What a fucking tease.  _ Rue knew Lexi was wearing a push up bra; she had seen her in that shirt a thousand times, and never did it look this good. Lexi caught her staring and chuckled, putting a finger under Rue’s chin, lifting her gaze away from her chest. “See you tonight.” She said, kissing Rue on the cheek. 

_ I’m so fucking screwed.  _ Rue thought as she walked out of Lexi’s front door. 

  
  


...

  
  


“CASSSSSIIIIEEEE!” Lexi screamed, even though her sister was only a few feet away, applying lip gloss at their shared vanity. “I need HELLLLLPPP!!!!” 

“You clearly don’t need my help anymore, Lex. You took my advice, and you took it very well.”

“Okay, but Rue invited me over tonight. I need to look fucking hot. Can we please go to the mall?” She walked over to Cassie then, getting on her knees, pleading with her sister. “Pllllleasse. I’m so new at this.”

“Of course I’ll take you to the mall, dork.” Cassie said, pulling her sister up. “But seriously, I don’t think you need my help. I saw the way Rue was looking at your tits earlier.”

“Why were you looking at us?” Lexi huffed as she walked away. Cassie could be so nosey sometimes. “And she’s seen me in this shirt a hundred times before, I need something else.”

“We share a room, idiot. I was there the entire time Rue was here.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to peak out the curtain.”

“I smelled pancakes, sue me.” Cassie rolled her eyes. “Thanks for making me some by the way.”

“Thought you didn’t eat carbs.”

“I make an exception for Christmas break. Now do you want to go to the mall or not?”

“Yes, please!” Lexi chirped, grabbing her purse. 

  
  


….

  
  


“What about this?” Lexi questioned, emerging from the changing room. She was wearing another v-neck, except this one dipped even lower. 

Kat and Maddy had decided to join them at the mall. Maddy needed some serious retail therapy after her 3000th, and final breakup with Nate. Kat just wanted to blow the rest of the money from her mystery suitor and forget about it. She was with Ethan, done with her pay pigs and her cam gig. She just wanted to look sexy for him now. 

“Boooorrrriinnng.” Maddy sighed. “That looks just like all the shit you always wear. You want to look sexy, right?”

“Hey, leave her alone Maddy. Lex, you look amazing.” Cassie snapped. 

“Fuck, I have no idea what I’m doing!!!” Lexi sat down with a huff next to her friends. “The sexiest thing I can pick out is a fucking v-neck.”

“To be fair, your tits look great.” Kat said, finally looking up from her phone. She couldn’t get enough of Ethan right now. They had spent the whole night together, but she still was texting him cheesy shit constantly. 

“Let us pick something out for you.” Maddy said, grabbing Cassie and Kat. “I promise it won’t be too slutty.”

“That’s rich coming from you, Maddy.” Kat mumbled. 

“Says the girl who’s been wearing BDSM gear all year!” Maddy replied as the three of them walked away laughing.  _ I’m gonna look like a stripper if they have anything to do with it,  _ Lexi thought. Sure, she wanted their help, because Lexi was just starting to figure out how to be sexy, but she didn’t want something too crazy. After all, she was going to Rue’s house; her mom and Gia might be there. 

“I think I found the perfect one, sis.” And she did. It was a simple black long sleeve, that dipped down low enough for Lexi’s breasts to peak through in her push-up bra. The neckline came below her shoulders, so that the top of her back was exposed as well. “Wear this with a lace choker and Rue will be eating out of the palm of your hand.”

“She’ll probably be eating something else too.” Kat whispered to Maddy between giggles.  _ They can be so annoying sometimes,  _ Lexi thought, but she was secretly smirking, because after all, having Rue go down on her would be so fucking satisfying. 

The gang was about to leave the mall, but Kat wanted to stop in Victoria’s Secret for some more lingerie. Lexi wandered around the PINK section, looking for more pairs of her favorite boyshorts, when something caught her eye. A black push-up bra, lacy as all hell, with matching cheeky underwear, the ones that weren’t exactly a thong, but still showed off an ass in the best way possible. 

She quickly grabbed them, before any of the girls could see. Lexi did not want them to embarrass her. Even though she was feeling much more comfortable with herself lately, she didn’t need them knowing she was buying lacy underwear to impress Rue.  _ Hopefully Rue likes these,  _ Lexi thought as she checked out. This was all so new to her, but she knew one thing. 

Lexi wanted to fuck Rue Bennett. 

  
  


…

  
  


“MOMMMMMMMM!” Rue screamed from the kitchen. She was sweating up a storm, trying to cook the pasta, make an alfredo sauce from scratch, and not burn the chicken on the skillet. “I need HELLLLPPPPP!!!”

“Jesus Rue, she’s getting ready for her date, remember?” Gia immediately took the pasta off the stove and dumped it into the strainer. “Let me help you.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be at your friend’s house?” Rue snapped. She was  _ hella  _ stressed, and told Gia that she needed the house to herself tonight. 

“I’m going over there soon. And if I wasn’t here right now, who would save you from burning your entire dinner?” Gia was already fussing with the chicken, seasoning it to perfection since her big sister didn’t know shit besides salt and pepper. 

“Good point.” Rue grumbled. She wanted, no, she  _ needed  _ this to be perfect for Lexi. Rue wanted to take care of her. Lexi had spent so many years, putting other people before her, Rue included. She knew this wouldn’t make up for all the shit she put Lexi through, but it would sure show Lexi that Rue really cared for her. 

“Smells delicious, honey.” Her mom appeared behind her then, kissing her daughter on the cheek. “To be honest, I really didn’t think you would pull this off.” 

“Thank god for Gia.” Rue said, putting the finishing touches on her dish. “Soooo...who’s your date with? And please tell me it’s not that one douchebag.” Rue was referring to the guy that she was extremely rude to, telling him to “Go fuck yourself” within minutes of meeting. 

“No, not him. His name is David.” Leslie mumbled, fumbling through her purse for her keys.

“David….David.” Rue repeated. “Why does that sound so-” And then it hit her. Her mom was going on a date with David Vaughn, Jules DAD. “MOM, WHAT THE FUCK!!!”

“Language, Rue!” she scolded. “He’s a very nice man!”

“Yes, mom, I know he’s a nice man!” Rue yelled. “I know this because I was in love with his damn daughter, remember? The one that broke my heart like less than 2 days ago!”

“Rue, calm down.” Leslie said soothingly, coming over to hug Rue. “You know you two come first, right? I’m not going to jeopardize that.” Rue began to calm down. Her mom did deserve to be happy, Rue spent years putting her through hell. After all, Jules and her weren’t together anymore, so it made things vastly less complicated. 

“I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too honey. Gia, you need a ride to your friend’s house?” Leslie questioned, slinging her purse over her shoulder. Gia nodded, getting ready to follow her out the door. “Have fun with your  _ friend.”  _ Leslie emphasized that last word, playfully hitting Gia on the shoulder as they walked out laughing. 

Now, Rue was even more nervous. Gia could obviously tell something was going on, but she hadn’t talked to her mom about Lexi yet.  _ Am I that damn obvious?  _ Rue thought, setting the plates on the table. Lexi would be here any minute. Rue looked like a damn mess from cooking, food was splattered all over her clothes. She quickly changed into a pair of black shorts, a white t-shirt, and a blazer. Rue was lighting candles on the dinner table  _ (Lexi is turning me into a cheesy motherfucker,  _ she thought) when she heard a knock on the door. 

_ Here goes nothing.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had so much fun writing this chapter. hope y'all like it  
next episode is their date....i don't think y'all are ready ;)
> 
> let me know what you think!!!


	5. Death of a Strawberry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's heating up ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "wanna waste away my days with a pretty young thing, just for the day, let's pretend i'm made of money, i'll be your sugar daddy"

When Lexi walked into Rue’s house, her breath caught in her throat. Never in a million years did she think Rue would do something like this, let alone pull it off. There were two plates of chicken alfredo on the table, and it smelled fucking delicious. A basket was piled high with garlic bread in the center, surrounded by candles. 

“Um, wow, Lex. You look, uh, you look fucking amazing.” Rue was looking her up and down.  _ Thank you, Cassie.  _ Lexi thought as she smiled at Rue, her eyes twinkling in the candlelight. 

“Rue...THIS is amazing.” She quickly pulled the taller girl into a hug, burying her face in Rue’s curly hair. 

“I have to admit, I had some help.” 

“Well, I figured. I’ve only seen you eat cereal.” Lexi teased, pulling back from their hug, her arms still wrapped around Rue’s waist. “You did all of this...for me?”

“Yeah…” Rue said nervously. “You always take care of me Lex. I wanted to say thank you. And take care of you for once.”

Lexi couldn’t hold it in any longer. “I love you, Rue.” At first, she was embarrassed that she finally told her, but it was the perfect moment. And after all these years, Rue would have to be fucking blind not to realize Lexi’s true feelings. Especially after these past couple days. 

“I love you too.” Rue said before moving forward to kiss Lexi. It was a sweet, tender kiss. Lexi felt all the love in the way their lips slowly moved together. She was about to put her hand on the back of Rue’s neck to deepen the kiss. She could do this for fucking hours. But Rue pulled away. “Let’s eat before it gets cold, alright? I slaved over this dinner.” 

Lexi begrudgingly agreed. She hated the loss of contact, but her stomach was rumbling. And she did have plans for Rue after dinner. Lexi knew Rue wanted to take it slow, and maybe they didn’t need to have sex tonight, but Lexi was craving more intimacy. More skin on skin contact. The way that Rue looked at her told Lexi all she needed to know: that Rue wanted her back.

  
  


…

“Fuck, I’m full.” Rue said, leaning back in her chair. She was fucking proud of herself. The pasta was delicious.  _ Nailed it.  _ Lexi was nibbling at a piece of garlic bread. Rue couldn’t get over how fucking hot she looked. Her tight black long sleeve showed off her slender shoulders in a way that mesmerized Rue. She licked her lips as she stared at Lexi’s collarbones, wanting to kiss them, bite them, leave her mark. She knew she told Lexi she wanted to take it slow, but Lexi was making it so damn hard.

“Rue, I’m seriously impressed.” Lexi dragged her garlic bread through the homemade sauce, effectively cleaning up her plate. “I mean, this is  _ almost _ as good as my chicken alfredo.”

“Almost?” Rue questioned. “I don’t know. I think I gave you a run for your money.” 

“We’ll see about that. But I’m definitely rubbing off on you.” Lexi set down her napkin on the table. “So, what about dessert?”

_ Fuck,  _ Rue thought.  _ How could I fucking forget dessert?  _ She knew Lexi had a huge sweet tooth. Rue got so wrapped up in the preparation of dinner, she didn’t even think about the best part. 

Lexi sensed Rue was beating herself up. “No worries, Rue. Let’s see if you have something we can whip up.”

Before Rue could reply, Lexi was in the kitchen, looking through all of the cabinets. 

“Does your mom not believe in sweets?”

“All organic, all the time. The sweetest thing we have is strawberries.” 

Lexi perked up at the mention of strawberries and looked at Rue with a mischievous smile. “That’ll do.” She made her way over to the fridge, grabbed the box and leaned over the bar that faced the dining room. Making eye contact with Rue, Lexi bit into the sweet berry, letting her lips purse around it. Her heart was beating out of her chest as she watched Lexi seductively eat the strawberry, juices running down her chin. She smirked at Rue, licking her lips, before taking her sticky fingers into her mouth, and sucking on them one by one. 

Rue could have fucking died right there.  _ Fuck taking it slow _ , she thought. There was no way that she was going to last another night without having Lexi. 

“Want one Rue?” Lexi asked playfully.

Rue marched into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Once she found what she was looking for, she turned to Lexi. 

“I know something sweeter.” Rue said, holding out the bottle of whipped cream. Lexi’s breath hitched in her throat. Rue towered over Lexi, so she grabbed the back of Lexi’s thighs, lifting her onto the counter. Lexi’s legs immediately wrapped around Rue’s waist, pulling her closer. She leaned in for a kiss, when Rue playfully moved her head at the last second. 

“Nuh-uh.” She grabbed Lexi’s face, moving it to the side, exposing her neck. Rue took the whip cream can and put a little on Lexi’s pulse point, her collarbones, and finally, the top of her breasts. 

“You’re my fucking dessert.” She whispered into Lexi’s ear. Rue felt her shudder, and a soft sigh escaped her lips. She grinned before diving in, sucking on Lexi’s neck. She let her tongue run over the whipped cream, before lightly biting, leaving marks as she went. Lexi gasped loudly, pulling the taller girl in closer. Rue couldn’t believe how good it felt to kiss Lexi’s body. The whipped cream was an added perk, she already tasted so sweet. She made her way to Lexi’s collarbones, then her breasts. 

“Fuck Rue.” Lexi moaned, as Rue nipped at her exposed skin. 

“You taste so good.” Rue muttered into Lexi’s cleavage. She was leaving small bruises all over her chest.  _ You’re mine,  _ Rue thought.  _ Lexi Howard is fucking mine.  _

Lexi used her hand tangled in Rue’s hair to pull her away from her chest. Rue gasped with the sudden pain that accompanied Lexi’s tug, but she fucking liked it. Lexi smashed their lips together, immediately running her tongue over Rue’s bottom lip. She could feel the tattoo there. It immediately reminded Lexi of Jules. The fact that Rue was marked by Jules permanently pissed her off.  _ That should be me,  _ Lexi thought as she bit Rue’s lip, probably a little harder than she should have. 

Rue was incredibly aroused by how rough Lexi was being; this was a side of her that Rue never thought she would see. Hell, she didn’t think she would like it.  _ I guess Jules was right about something,  _ she thought. The night Jules told her about her hookup with Anna, and how she actually bit her hard enough to leave a mark, Rue was wondering how anyone would actually like that. Then Lexi bit her bottom lip, and Rue knew exactly why people got turned on by this kind of stuff. Lexi’s hands were still entwined in Rue’s hair, and she pulled again, breaking their kiss. Rue groaned loudly. 

Lexi’s eyes were wild with lust. She looked like she could eat Rue alive right there. And honestly, that’s what she planned to do. 

“Bed.  _ Now _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all aint ready for the next chapter. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the kind words! it keeps me going!


	6. Heat Seeking Ghost of Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's what you've all been waiting for.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "turn your back, cause i'm gonna be all up on you"

Rue took Lexi’s hand and led her into the bedroom, promptly shutting and locking the door behind them. Before Lexi could get a word out, Rue had her up against the wall, continuing the assault on her neck. Rue could bite her all day and she would never get sick of it, but she wanted to be in control. She took her hand to Rue’s chest, and gently shoved the girl back. Rue looked absolutely distraught; Lexi found it kind of funny that she had Rue under her spell. 

“You’ve already had your dessert.” Lexi said, walking closer and closer to Rue until her legs hit the bed. She pushed Rue back, a little harder this time, until she was flat on her back on the mattress. 

**“** My turn.” 

Rue had propped herself up on her elbows, staring at Lexi in awe as she stripped. Lexi had never felt more confident in her entire life.  _ So much for being shy,  _ Lexi thought as she took her pants off, standing before Rue in the black lace underwear she had bought earlier. 

Lexi almost laughed when Rue’s mouth dropped open. “Lexi…” she said, her voice much huskier than before. Her eyes wandered all over Lexi’s body. “I….”

“What was that, Rue?” Lexi said, getting on top of Rue, straddling her hips. Rue’s hands immediately went to Lexi’s sides, fingers splayed wide, just barely reaching her ass. “No, no, no, I said it was my turn, remember?” Lexi grabbed Rue’s wrists and pinned them behind her head. 

“I-I can’t touch you?” Rue was pleading at this point, her fingers fidgeting under Lexi’s grip. 

“Not until I say so. Take your shirt off.”

She released Rue at this point, marveling at how fast she stripped down to her sports bra. Rue was never the one for sexy underwear; her comfort came first. But damn, she even made a fucking sports bra look hot. Rue laid back after completing Lexi’s request. But the girl on top wasn’t satisfied. 

“Bra too.” Rue turned bright red. She had never been completely topless in front of anyone before. She always had been very self-conscious from a young age. Lexi noticed Rue’s hesitation, and moved a gentle hand to Rue’s cheek. 

“Hey...I’m sorry. I know you wanted to take this slow, I went way too far.”  _ I’m a fucking idiot,  _ Lexi thought.  _ She wants to take it slow, and I pushed her on the bed and made her strip?  _ Lexi felt terrible at that moment, she didn’t want Rue to feel rushed into anything. After all, this was all so new for both of them. Lexi’s confidence faltered in that moment; she suddenly felt very nervous and scared, scared that she completely fucked things up. 

“No, Lex. Don’t worry. I want this.” Rue sat up, lacing her fingers on the small of Lexi’s back. “I’ve just never...I’ve never done this before.”

“You know I haven’t either.” Lexi tucked a stray piece of hair behind Rue’s ear. “I just know I want you.”

“Then take me.” Rue quickly took off her bra. At that moment, time seemed to freeze. Lexi had been waiting for this moment for months, no,  _ years.  _ Rue took her breath away when she was wearing her dad’s old hoodie and baggy shorts, but topless? Lexi felt like her heart was beating out of her chest. 

“You’re beautiful, Rue.” She then unhooked her own bra before leaning down to kiss Rue. They both moaned loudly as their bare breasts touched, the skin on skin contact causing both of them to shiver. Lexi’s mouth moved down Rue’s neck, to her collarbones, to the space between her breasts. Looking up at Rue, she silently asked for permission before continuing. Rue quickly nodded. Lexi ran her tongue over Rue’s nipple, slowly flicking the sensitive bud. Rue threw her head back, gasping loudly, as her hand clutched at the bedsheets. 

_ I could do this forever,  _ Lexi thought as she lightly dragged her teeth over Rue’s hardened peak. Rue’s hips were thrusting towards her, begging for more. Lexi swiftly unbuttoned Rue’s shorts, sliding her hands between her legs.  _ Holy fuck.  _ Lexi gasped loudly as soon as she felt how wet Rue was. 

Rue immediately sat up, lifting herself to take her shorts and underwear off. She needed Lexi, and she needed her now. All the sexual tension between them for years had finally come to a boiling point. Rue could feel how aroused she was, her thighs were slick with wetness. 

“Please, Lex” She pleaded, grabbing Lexi’s wrist to move it to her heat. “I need you.”

Lexi smirked at Rue, before sliding off the bed, getting onto her knees on the floor. She grabbing Rue’s waist, pulling her to the edge of the bed. Rue’s gleaming sex was right in front of her face, and it was intoxicating. She moved a finger to Rue, slowly stroking her folds, marveling at how good her wetness felt. Rue moaned the other girl’s name loudly.  _ Thank god no one is home,  _ Lexi thought. The feeling of Rue on her fingers wasn’t enough though, Lexi couldn’t wait another second. She had to taste her. 

Lexi slowly moved her tongue, parting Rue’s lips and finding her clit. Kissing Rue was one thing; this was completely different. Lexi’s head swam with her first taste of Rue; she felt drunk. She moaned into Rue softly. “You taste so good, baby.”

Rue had never been one for pet names. She would always roll her eyes when couples at school were constantly calling each other “babe”, “baby”, “honey”, or her least favorite, “sweetie”. It was obnoxiously cheesy. But hearing Lexi call her baby as she tasted her...it sent her over the edge. She had never heard a sexier word in her fucking life. She threw her head back, brown curls flying everywhere as Lexi continued to eat her out. 

“More..” Rue breathed as Lexi sucked on her clit, letting her tongue drag over it again and again. She could barely breathe, but Lexi had never tasted anything as sweet as Rue. She would rather suffocate than stop. She could feel Rue getting closer and closer to releasing, so she stuck two fingers gently inside Rue. 

“SHIIIITTT!” Rue moaned loudly.

“Is that okay?” Lexi asked before she moved her fingers. 

Rue looked down at Lexi, eyes filled with desire. “Please fuck me.”

Lexi grinned before moving her fingers in and out of Rue, slowly at first, before quickening her pace. Rue’s walls quivered around her fingers, and Lexi knew she was about to come. Her eyes were shut tightly, her mouth wide opened as she moaned Lexi’s name over and over again. 

“Cum for me.” Lexi whispered, as she curled her fingers inside Rue. She clenched around Lexi, hips flailing wildly as she came. She screamed Lexi’s name one final time before her body settled down, riding the waves of her orgasm. 

Lexi got off her knees and laid down next to Rue on the bed, letting the girl catch her breath. Rue looked gorgeous in this moment. Her forehead was slick with sweat and her cheeks were flushed.  _ I’m so in love,  _ Lexi thought as she stared at Rue adoringly.  _ Please don’t let this end.  _ She pleaded with an imaginary force. As much as she wanted to forget about it, Jules popped into Lexi’s mind. She was ashamed for deleting those messages, but she knew if Rue had seen them, she would have spent all of break waiting for the blonde to come back. Rue was finally starting to realize that Lexi was the one for her, and Lexi couldn’t let that go. She wouldn’t give up. She was ready to fight for Rue, whether it was with Jules or someone else. 

“Hey.” Rue could barely talk, her voice was hoarse from all the screaming she had just done. 

“Hey.” Lexi replied, tucking Rue’s hair behind her ear. “That was-”

“-fucking amazing?” Rue interrupted, laughing. 

“Yeah, that’s one word for it.” 

“C’mere Lex.” Rue moved up on the bed so that she was resting on her pillows, extending her arm out to invite Lexi to cuddle up to her bare chest. Both girls were extremely exhausted, and as much as Lexi felt the ache in between her legs, she ignored it because her need to cuddle with Rue triumphed pretty much anything right now. 

Rue kissed Lexi’s forehead, her lips lingering on the skin. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” And with that, both girls fell into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally! the smut y'all have been waiting for. 
> 
> top lexi remains supreme. don't worry, rue will get her turn as well ;)
> 
> let me know what you think, your comments keep me going!


	7. Stroke God, Millionaire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the morning after..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "i bet you never saw me coming, but i've had my eye on you for miles"

When Rue’s eyes fluttered open, she was highly uncomfortable. Her arm was completely asleep from the weight on top of it.  _ Lexi _ . She suddenly didn’t care that she couldn’t feel her arm or that her back fucking hurt. She was naked in bed with Lexi fucking Howard, something she could have never imagined happening. She never knew she wanted this. All those months pining after Jules, savoring quick kisses, that didn’t even come close to this feeling. The feeling of being completely and totally cared for. And loved. Only could Lexi could give that to her. Rue was silently beating herself up for wasting so much time, for lusting after Jules, when Lexi was in front of her the whole time.  _ Better now than never. _

A hand squeezing her breast interrupted her thoughts. Lexi was dead asleep, and was still feeling Rue up. Not that Rue was complaining, but she found it so funny that she couldn’t keep herself from laughing. Lexi groaned and began to stir, hand still glued to Rue. She gave her one final squeeze before opening her eyes, realizing what she was doing. 

“Couldn’t help but to cop a feel huh?” Rue joked, her belly shaking from laughter. 

“Mmmm.” Lexi groaned, smiling up at Rue but not removing her hand. “It’s not my fault you're so damn soft.” Lexi ran her finger around Rue’s nipple then, causing it to instantly harden. 

Rue sighed loudly.  _ How did Lexi get so good at this?  _ She felt herself instantly get wet, and Lexi was barely touching her. Rue leaned in to kiss her girl when-

“Rue! Breakfast!” Her mom went to open the door. “Why the hell is the door locked?”

“Shit.” Rue mumbled under her breath as both girls fumbled to get dressed. “One second mom!” As soon as they both got a t-shirt and sweats on, Rue unlocked the door for her mom. 

Leslie burst into the room, looking around frantically for drugs, or any sign that Rue had done them. “Rue, you know we don’t lock doors in-” She stopped herself as soon as she saw Lexi, who had turned a bright shade of red. “-this house.” She finished, looking at Rue with her eyebrows raised. “Good morning, Lexi. Would you like some breakfast?”

“Sure thing, Mrs. Bennett.” 

Leslie was about to walk out of the room when she stopped in front of Rue. “We’ll talk later.” she whispered under her breath. Rue knew her mom wasn’t actually mad; it actually looked like she was smirking when she found Lexi in her room. She had always loved Lexi, ever since the girls first met in preschool. Rue was an anxious child, and Lexi, as little as she was, always knew exactly what Rue needed to remain calm. For that, she was thankful that Lexi remained in her daughter’s life. 

“Fuck.” Lexi cursed, going to look in Rue’s mirror at her neck, which was covered in hickeys. “God damn it, Rue. Look at my NECK!”

“It’s not my fault you are so damn soft.” Rue mimicked what Lexi said earlier in a joking tone.

Lexi rolled her eyes at Rue, frantically looking around for foundation, a turtleneck, a scarf, ANYTHING that could cover up her neck before she ate breakfast with Rue’s family. 

“Pretty sure she already saw them, Lex.”

“Doesn’t mean I want them staring all damn breakfast.” Lexi grumbled, before finally finding one of Rue’s oversized hoodies which at least covered up the sides of her neck and collarbone. “You’re a dick, you know that?”

“Yeah, but you love me.” 

“You’ve got that right.” Lexi gave Rue a quick peck on the lips.

“Now c’mon, I need to eat. You wore me out last night.” 

“You think that was bad?” Lexi teased, walking out of the room, stopping at the doorway to look back at Rue. “You have no idea what you’re in for Bennett.”

  
  


…

  
  


Breakfast wasn’t as uncomfortable as Lexi thought it would be. After all, she had sat down for many meals at this table throughout the years. Leslie and Gia felt like family to her. And deep down, Lexi knew they were probably ecstatic that she was “with” Rue, or whatever. She really wanted to know their “status”. Not like it really mattered, but after all the turmoil with Jules, Lexi needed some sort of positive affirmation that this was going somewhere. That she wasn’t going to just be Rue’s fling over break. 

Lexi was gathering her things in Rue’s room after breakfast. She had to go home and go Christmas shopping with her mom and sister, and she had to find Rue the perfect gift.  _ How the hell do you find a gift for someone who doesn’t give a fuck about anything? _

“Lex?” 

“Mhmm?” Lexi muttered.  _ Where the hell did I fling my shirt last night? _

“Can we talk….about us?” It seemed like Rue had been reading her mind. It was kind of reassuring to know Rue seemed to be on the same page as her. Rue looked adorabingly shy in this moment, her cheeks were turning bright red as she bit her bottom lip. 

“Of course.” Lexi said, sitting down next to Rue and taking her hands.  _ Her incredibly soft hands,  _ she thought as she ran her fingers over Rue’s palm to put her at ease. 

“I-I just, this feels...special. And I don’t want to fuck it up. I always fuck everything up.” Rue’s lip started to quiver. Lexi couldn’t stand to see Rue so upset; it broke her heart. 

“Hey, no you don’t.” Lexi whispered, squeezing Rue’s hand. “This is special, Rue. I’m not going anywhere and you know that. I-I’m in love with you and have been for years.”

“I’m sorry I ignored you for Jules.”  _ Ugh.  _ Lexi was not expecting that. Even the mention of Jules name, let alone thinking about her and Rue together, shot daggers straight through her heart. Lexi tried so damn hard to get along with Jules, to like her. But she just couldn’t. She didn’t think Jules was a bad person per say, but something about the blonde didn’t sit right with Lexi. Her relationship with Rue always seemed...artificial, which was devastating considering how much Rue cared for the girl. “I was wrong about a lot of things, especially her.”

“Don’t worry about it, Rue.” Lexi said quickly, trying to brush it off. She really did not want to talk about Jules anymore. The guilt of deleting Jules’ messages was eating away at her, and Lexi did not want to deal with that pain right now. 

“So...what are we?” Rue blurted out. “Friends still? Fuckbuddies? …….Girlfriends?” That sent hope straight through Lexi’s heart. 

“We will always be friends, Rue.” Lexi took a deep breath. “But I want more than that. I don’t think I can't _just_ be friends with you right now, it would hurt too much.”  _ Fucking say it, you idiot.  _ “Will you be my girlfriend?”

Lexi held her breath as Rue stared at their hands intertwined.  _ Holy fuck, what if she says no?  _ She felt like she was going to pass out until Rue looked up at her. And she was  _ beaming.  _

“I thought you’d never ask.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) some cute fluff for y'all.....before christmas nonsense, then it's angst city baby so be prepared.
> 
> your kind words keep me going! thank you so much for the support!!!!


	8. We Own the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some christmas fluff :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "i have the heart of a coward, here in my arms is exactly where i want you."

It was the morning of Christmas Eve, and Rue woke up in a cold sweat. She was surprised she even slept at all, considering how stressed out she was. Rue had been searching all week for the perfect present for Lexi. She knew whatever she got her, Lexi would like it, because let’s be real, all Lexi wanted was Rue. But she wanted to get Lexi something special, something she would never expect. And nothing at the stupid mall would ever meet Rue’s high expectations for this gift. 

Rue sat up in her bead, running her hands through her sweaty hair. It was the first night in week that her and Lexi had spent apart, mostly due to the fact they had to get ready for the holidays. Rue used to love sleeping alone, all sprawled out over her queen sized mattress. But now she absolutely _ hated _it. She wanted to turn over in the middle of the night to wrap her arms around Lexi, to nuzzle herself in the crook of her neck, and smell her hair. She tossed and turned all night without her. 

Things had been going so well for the two. Rue could hardly believe her luck. She had treated Lexi like shit for years, ignored her, berated her, only for Lexi to stick around and still be in love with her. They spent the past week cuddling and attempting to watch Christmas movies. But they were both young and _ extremely horny _. Twenty minutes into every movie, their hands started to wander, and the next thing they knew, they were hooking up on the couch, hands down each other’s pants. Rue could just kiss Lexi all day and be satisfied, but the sex was beyond incredible. It brought out a new side to Lexi that Rue had never seen before, and she fucking loved it. Lexi was bossy and controlling in bed, and even though Rue would never admit it to her, she LOVED being the bottom to Lexi’s top. 

Thinking about fucking her girlfriend distracted Rue from the task at hand. _ Christmas presents, right. _ She bit her lip nervously; she only had one fucking day to pull this off. Rue was so stressed that she bit down too hard, drawing blood in her mouth. 

  


“Fuck.” She muttered under her breath, running her tongue over her bottom lip to stop the bleeding. And then she felt it. The tattoo on her inner lip. She tried so hard to forget about Jules, but everytime she accidently felt her tattoo, the blonde popped into her mind and not in a good way. The more time passed, the more mad Rue was at Jules. She started to realize their whole relationship was a fucking sham, and it pissed Rue off. She was just a placeholder for Jules, someone for her to use. 

But then it hit her. _ Hard _. She knew exactly what to get for Lexi. Rue changed as quickly as she could, and was out the door. 

…

By the time Rue got to Fez’s, she was completely out of breath. She was skinny, and had the appearance of being fit, but holy fuck, she was out of shape. It didn’t help she had ridden her bike faster than she ever had before. 

It looked like no one was at the convenience store, but Rue knew Fez and Ashtray were in the back by the beer coolers. Almost no one came to the shop for anything besides drugs on Christmas Eve. And that’s just because the holidays are fucking hard for everyone. 

When Rue bust into the cooler door, Fez looked so damn startled that he almost dropped the lit blunt in his hand. His shock turned into suspicion however, probably because he thought Rue was there for drugs, given how disheveled she looked.

“Uh...hey Rue. What are you doing here?” Fez questioned, looking her up and down. “Shouldn’t you be with your family?”

“Yeah..yeah, I will be later. But um...I was up all night thinking of gifts for Lexi and-” 

“I don’t really think we have any great gifts here.” Ashtray piped in, finally looking up from the pile of pills he was sorting. 

“Yeah, I know, but I thought you could-”

“So things with you and Lexi seem to be going good.” Fez interrupted. “When y’all came in the other day, you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.”

“Yeah, things are going great and I finally thought of the perfect gift so I-”

“I gotta tell you Rue. I know how great sex on Molly is, but I’m not giving you any of that for you two to share.”

“God damn it, Fez. Just fucking listen to me, alright?” Rue was fucking frustrated. Fez could be so slow sometimes. “So I spent like, the whole week looking for gifts for Lexi. But nothing was perfect ya know? And she’s well...pretty damn close to perfect.”

“Awwww.” Rue had Ashtray’s full attention now. “Rue’s in looooove.” 

Rue turned bright red. She knew she was in love with Lexi, and so did the rest of the world, considering they had been parading around town all week. But Rue hated to talk about her feelings, especially when a fucking twelve year old was teasing her. 

“Oh my god, would you shut up? Anyways, I couldn’t think of anything to get her, because I was only thinking of like, physical presents. But then it hit me. A tattoo.”

“Another one?” Fez looked at her curiously. “Didn’t that not turn out so great last time?”

“Yeah but that’s because I rushed into it and I’m-”

“Aren’t you rushing into this one too?” Fez was really starting to piss her off. She loved the guy, but he was acting like her dad right now, and that’s the last thing she needed. 

“I mean, if you look at it in terms of me and Lexi being in a relationship, sure. But I’ve known her since preschool Fez. I’ve always loved her.” 

“I just don’t wanna see you get hurt again, bro. I love you, kid.”

Fez could be such a god damn softie for a drug dealer. It made Rue want to hug him and never let go. “I love you too. So what do you say Ashtray?”

He looked up from his pill pile. “Round two, let’s go!”

…

Rue was pacing back and forth by her front door. Lexi would be here any minute, and holy fuck, she was nervous. She was so confident before that Lexi would love her “gift”, but now, self-doubt was flowing through her. 

“Rue, calm down.” Gia looked over at her big sister. She was making Christmas cookies for the next day, a Bennett family tradition. “You’re acting like you and Lex haven’t been all over each other all week.”

“It’s not that. I’m nervous about my...gift.” Rue trailed off. She hadn’t told Gia about the tattoo, and she definitely wasn’t about to tell her in front of her mom, who would have a billion questions. For now, Rue’s sweatshirt covered it up just fine. 

“I’m sure she will love it. And if she doesn’t, my cookies will cheer her up.”

“Shut up, Gia.” Rue said, before hearing three knocks on the door. She whipped around, taking a deep breath before opening it, to reveal Lexi, wearing the cutest outfit ever. She had on a velvet green dress, that dipped just low enough for her cleavage to peak out (but not low enough to be inappropriate, Lexi always kept it classy around the Bennett family). Her brown curls were flowing out of a giant Santa hat, which was crooked and way too big for her head. Before Rue could even get a word in (and she was essentially just gawking at her girlfriend at this point), Lexi wrapped her up in a hug, burying herself in Rue’s curls. 

“I missed you.” She whispered in Rue’s ear before letting go. One of Rue’s favorite things in the world was how Lexi had to stand on her tippy-toes, just to nuzzle herself in Rue’s neck or kiss her. Rue found it excruciatingly adorable. 

“It smells delicious in here.” Lexi walked over to Gia then, giving her a quick hug. “But I should have known you were baking your famous cookies.”

“You know it, girl.” Gia replied. She turned on the oven light so Lexi could take a peak. “They are almost done, and once they cool, it’s decorating time!”

“We all know how good Rue is at decorating.” Lexi said, giggling. Pretty soon, Gia was in on it too, and they were laughing up a storm. When they were kids, Lexi and Gia would always come up with amazing designs on each cookie. It looked like they came out of a god damn Martha Stewart magazine, which infuriated Rue, because she was too damn lazy and impatient to put any work into hers. Next to the others, Rue’s cookies were decorated with giant blobs of color, and her sister and Lexi always had a fucking field day teasing her about it. 

“Yeah, yeah, we all know I’m not a goddamn cookie artist.” Rue said impatiently. “But now, presents.” She took Lexi’s hand and dragged her into her room, closing the door softly behind her.

“You trying to get me alone, Bennett? It’s not even Christmas yet, I thought we were going to wait till-” Rue silenced Lexi with her lips; it had been far too long since she had kissed the girl. 

She missed the way Lexi’s lips felt on hers, impossibly soft. Rue inhaled all that was Lexi, her fruity body lotion, her minty fresh breath, the sweet smell of her hair. She had thought fentanyl was the best drug, followed closely by Jules. Lexi trumped all of them. 

“I missed you so much Lex.” 

“I missed you too.” Lexi sat on the edge of Rue’s bed, intertwining their fingers. “Are we pathetic? It’s been about 24 hours.”

“They don’t call it the honeymoon phase for nothing.” Rue kissed Lexi’s hand. “Now about those presents-”

“Me first.” Lexi reached down to her bag, pulling out a white envelope. Rue was intrigued, yet confused. Lexi normally went all out for Christmas presents, wrapping every gift in colorful wrapping paper and bows. The envelope had Rue’s name on it, followed by a heart. “C’mon, open it.” Lexi fidgeted in her seat; Rue could tell she was nervous. _ Thankfully I’m not the only one. _

Rue opened the envelope to find a few pages Lexi had printed from her computer. She carefully unfolded them, and her jaw dropped to the floor. Lexi had planned a whole fucking trip for them to go on, once school was over. 

“It’s only for a few days. But I’ll be getting a car soon, and I know we’ve been stuck in this damn town too long. I know you’ve always wanted to go to San Fran, to see the Golden Gate Bridge. Not to mention, there’s a huge gay scene out there and I-” Rue silenced Lexi’s rambling with a passionate kiss. Lexi had always been the most thoughtful person in the universe, especially when it came to Rue, but this? This topped anything she had ever done. 

Rue suddenly got extremely nervous again; her stomach was tied in knots. Lexi had gotten her the greatest gift of all time, and she got a tattoo? _ What the hell was I thinking? _Rue began to panic, which of course, caused her to cry. Lexi felt Rue’s tears on her cheek, and immediately pulled back. 

“Rue, what’s wrong?” Lexi immediately cupped her face, wiping away the tears with her thumbs.

“It’s just-your gift was perfect. And I’m an idiot.” 

“Babe, stop. I love you so much. You could get me a lump of coal and I would love it forever.” Rue slowly started to ease into Lexi’s touch. She slowly rolled up her sleeve, and now it was Lexi’s turn to drop her jaw. 

Rue’s tattoo was simple, but perfect. On her wrist was a heart, with the letter L inside, in a fancy cursive. Lexi ran her finger over it softly, as she knew the area was probably still extremely tender. She immediately burst into tears. Rue was so crazy and spontaneous, and that had always worried Lexi. But in this moment, she loved that about her. Lexi had been so damn mad when her and Jules had gotten those matching tattoos, after knowing each other for a month, and kissing once. She was furious with Rue; at first she tried to brush it off, like she was just mad at Rue for being so damn impulsive. But she was really upset with the fact that it was Jules she had gotten a tattoo for, not her. Lexi wasn’t trying to be super obvious, but she wanted Rue to know she hated it, and that’s why whenever she felt the tattoo under her tongue when they kissed, she bit at it, _ hard _, as if it would fall off. 

“D-do you like it?” Rue asked nervously, eyes running over Lexi’s face, looking for clues. 

“I love it.” Lexi whispered, wiping the tears off her face. 

“I love you Lex. I will always love you. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Rue.” Lexi wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, still fighting off tears of joy. This had been the best damn holiday she had ever had, and it wasn’t even Christmas day yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some cutesy shit for y'all.  
but get ready....new years is coming up, so there's plenty more smut (and maybe rue will finally top????) 
> 
> also.....school starts soon....and jules IS coming back.  
this is the calm before the storm.


	9. Elder Goose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took forever for me to update, i honestly forgot about this story! but don't worry, i'm back on my shit. 
> 
> new years eve festivities baybbbbeeeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "she's all up in my face, i can't believe she's so close. feeling her grind is made me lose my mind"

Lexi stood in front of her bathroom mirror, nervous as hell. She never really got super dressed up, and when she did, she felt out of place. And tonight was New Years Eve, so Maddy and Cassie had convinced her she needed to look like a “motherfucking bad bitch” (their words, not hers). Honestly, Lexi felt ridiculous-she was wearing a tight black dress that showed off every curve of her body. When Lexi was panicking going through her wardrobe a few days before, Maddy insisted that Lexi raid her closet, and ended up picking the sluttiest dress possible for Lexi to wear (well, slutty for Lexi, Maddy owned some crazy outfits that she could never pull off). Lexi took a deep breath, smoothed the dress over her skin-even though it was practically a second layer of skin-it was so damn tight. Looking herself over once more, she stepped out of the bathroom. 

“So...what do you think?” Cassie, Maddy, and Kat were over, but mostly, Lexi directed that question to Rue. Rue wore a white tank top with a black blazer thrown over it, and her signature black shorts and converse. Rue could make any outfit look fucking amazing-no matter how simple it was. 

“DAMN BITCH! You look hot!” Kat yelled over from Cassie’s vanity, where she was putting on the finishing touches of her makeup.

“I knew that would look good on you, holy shit.” Maddy said, looking Lexi up and down-which made her super self-conscious. Maddy was the baddest bitch alive, and intimidating as all hell. Lexi couldn’t help smiling though-because getting the “Maddy seal of approval” was the highest honor. 

“My little sis is growing UP!” Cassie threw her arms around her. “And damn, who the fuck knew you had tits like that. Giving me a run for my money.”

“Yeah, right.” Lexi laughed nervously. “What do you think Rue?”

Rue was sitting down at the edge of Lexi’s bed, running her eyes all over Lexi’s body. Her jaw dropped when Lexi had walked out of the bathroom, which Lexi didn’t fail to notice. 

“Uh-um-you look-fucking amazing. Holy shit, Lex.”

_ That’s the reaction I was looking for. _ Lexi loved that she turned Rue into a stuttering mess most of the time-it was still insane to her that she held that power over her. It was even more insane to her to think that a month ago, she would never have expected to be in this position with her best friend, who was practically eye-fucking her, let alone calling Rue her girlfriend. Lexi sat down in Rue’s lap, and was beaming when she felt Rue’s slender arms slide around her. 

“Rue is so pussy whipped.” Maddy was always known for being blunt-sometimes too fucking blunt (remember the carnival?)-but she was fucking right, and Lexi knew it. 

“Mmmhmmm.” Rue mumbled. Normally, she would fight back, or have some sarcastic comeback, but right now, all her attention was on Lexi, and how fucking good she looked in the dress. 

“Should we get going?” Cassie asked, gathering up the rest of her things in her purse. “It’s BB’s party, so you know shit is already crazy.”

“Yeah, let’s go!” Lexi grabbed Rue’s hand and started leading her downstairs, all too excited for her first New Years out with someone she loved. 

…

It was a cold night, and Rue could see her breath as they walked their way over to BB’s. Parties made her nervous; not because she feared relapsing anymore-she had Lexi to thank for that-but because the last party she had been to was on Halloween. That night was awful for Rue for a number of reasons-it’s when her fantasy world came crashing down on her, when she realized things with Jules weren’t as perfect as they seemed. She remembered panicking in the bathroom all too well, and Lexi comforting her outside as she shivered violently. 

“Hey, you okay?” Lexi asked, squeezing Rue’s hand. _ It’s like she can read my mind. _“You know, if this party is too much for you, we can turn around right now. I totally understand.”

“No, I’m good, especially with you by my side. Plus, I gotta see those famous Howard dance moves. You gonna break out the sprinkler again? Maybe the shopping cart?” Rue teased. When they were younger, they always went to middle school dances together, where they danced like absolute idiots. 

“Shut up!” Lexi punched Rue’s shoulder. “And honestly? I don’t think you can handle my dance moves now, babe.” Lexi smirked at Rue-that smirk that screamed “I’m the top, you’re the bottom, don’t make me prove it”. 

“Bring it on.”

When they entered the house, the cold immediately gave way to the sweaty, humid atmosphere of the party. There was a sea of bodies all over BB’s living room, dancing to the bass heavy music-it was deafening. 

Rue could see Lexi’s mouth moving, but couldn’t hear a damn word she was saying. Being close to the speakers did not help, so Lexi lead her into the kitchen, where it was a little bit quieter. 

“I asked if you wanted a water!” Lexi shouted into Rue’s ear, holding out a bottle which Rue gladly accepted. “This place is fucking crazy!”

“Typical East highland party. Same shit, different house.” 

  
“Yeah, but at least the crowd is better here.” Rue scanned the room, and noticed that Nate and his douchebag buddies were nowhere to be seen. They would normally be in the kitchen, shirtless for whatever reason, slamming shot after shot while yelling and banging on their chests. It was weirdly primal, and it made Rue extremely nervous.

“Lexi! Over here!” Cassie called over from across the kitchen, where her, Maddy and Kat were filling up their red solo cups with spiked punch. “You want one?” She asked Lexi, offering her a cup. Lexi looked at Rue, before shaking her head. 

“Lex, it’s all good. You can have a drink.”

“But the last party we went to...I-I don’t want to make you feel the way Jules did that night.”

“Jules was fucking wasted and all messed up because of Nate. You’re not like that. Don’t stop yourself from having fun because I’m sober.” Rue gave Lexi a reassuring peck on the lips. “And trust me, the punch is great. You gotta try it.” 

Lexi accepted the cup from her sister, and took a sip. “Well, it definitely tastes better than Gatorade and fucking everclear.” Lexi and Rue stayed around Cassie and her friends for a while, watching the crowd and talking shit about all the drunk and high people. Rue realized that this must have been what she looked like when she came to parties, slamming whatever booze she could get her hands on and fucked up on pills. She was immediately relieved she was sober because honestly? All these people looked ridiculous. 

BB finally came over to them, emerging out of a cloud of thick vape smoke-her signature. “What’s upppppp, bitches!!!!” She slurred, pulling them all into a sloppy group hug. “Sooooo glad y’all are here.” She looked up and down at Lexi. “Holy fuck, Lex. I didn’t even recognize you for a second. You lookin’ like a snack!”

“Isn’t she though?” Rue said, putting her arm around Lexi’s waist. “And she’s alllllll mine.”

“Yeah, and every guy in this party is fucking jealous.” Maddy pointed out. Then Rue started to notice all the guys checking Lexi out. She tightened her grip on Lexi’s hip. “Normally, they are all looking at me.”

“Bitch, they are still looking at you.” BB said. “Now, c’mon, let’s dance y’all!” She dragged Cassie and Maddy out to the dance floor; Kat was too preoccupied making out with Ethan in the corner of the kitchen. 

“Wanna show me those dance moves, Howard?” 

“I thought you’d never ask.”

…

Lexi lead Rue through the crowd of writhing bodies, until she found a spot with enough room for them to dance. Rue suddenly had no idea what to do. She wasn’t the biggest fan of dancing, and always felt like her body moved too awkwardly anyways. 

But Lexi knew what to do-and she quickly took control over Rue’s movements. 

Her back was pressed against the front of Rue, as she began to sway her hips to the beat. She was grinding her ass into her, and Rue had to bite her lip to suppress the gasp that came out. She put her hands on Lexi’s hips, moving in sync with her. They had been having sex almost daily the past two weeks, but something about dancing with Lexi in a packed room got Rue more excited than she had ever been. Lexi knew how to fucking move, and it was driving Rue crazy. She leaned down and pressed her lips to Lexi’s neck, softly biting at the exposed skin. Lexi moaned softly (at least, Rue thought she did, it was impossible to hear anything) and wrapped her arm around Rue’s neck, encouraging her. Rue continued to nip at Lexi’s skin, running her tongue from her neck to her earlobe. 

“You’re so fucking hot, baby.” Rue shouted into Lexi’s ear. Lexi turned around to face Rue then, continuing to move her hips against her, wrapping her other hand around Rue’s neck to pull them even closer. They were surrounded by sweaty bodies, but Rue didn’t care one bit. She felt like they were the only two people in the world. 

Pretty soon, they were full on making out on the dance floor, grinding their hips together. It was hard to breathe, but Rue would have happily died right there if it meant she could continue to dance with her girlfriend. She moved her hands down to Lexi’s ass, squeezing it gently as Lexi moaned into her mouth. Just weeks before, she was disgusted when Nate had been grinding with his date on the dance floor, hands gripping her ass cheeks, and now, she was practically doing the same with Lexi. She couldn’t get enough of her. 

They were coated in sweat and didn’t care. However, Rue’s mouth was extremely dry, so at the end of the song, she broke away. 

“Come with me!” She yelled, grabbing Lexi’s hand and dragging her to the kitchen, where they both immediately started chugging bottled water. After they finished, Lexi leaned against the counter, smirking seductively at Rue. 

“Wanna go back out?” Rue asked, inching closer to Lexi. 

“I have a better idea.”

…

Lexi brought Rue upstairs, to presumably find an empty bedroom where they could be alone. All three doors were locked-someone had already beat them to it-and Lexi looked defeated until she saw an open door to the bathroom. 

“This will have to do.” She forcefully grabbed Rue’s blazer, pulling her into the restroom, shutting the door behind them. Before Rue could get a word out, Lexi had her pressed against the door, kissing all up her neck.

“Lexi.” Rue groaned, as her girlfriend left marks from her collarbone to her ear.

“I’ve wanted you so bad all night.” Lexi moaned into Rue’s skin. “You look so good, baby.”

Rue shuddered when Lexi called her baby-it never got old. But Lexi’s hands were all over her body, making it impossible to think. Lexi had topped Rue for weeks now, making sure her girlfriend was essentially pussy whipped. While Rue loved being Lexi’s bottom, she wanted to take control of the situation for once. It took everything in her to push Lexi back, to which Lexi gave her a look of surprise. 

“What are you-” Lexi was interrupted when Rue’s lips crashed into hers. Rue snaked her hands behind Lexi, lifting her onto the bathroom counter. Her legs immediately wrapped around Rue’s waist, pulling her closer. 

“It’s my turn.” Rue sighed, dragging her hands down Lexi’s back to find the zipper of her dress. “I’m in control now.” She tugged on the zipper until it finally gave way, and pulled the dress down to begin her mouth’s assault on Lexi’s breasts. She sucked at the skin above the fabric of Lexi’s lacy bra-Rue’s favorite-before fumbling with the clasp. Lexi was feeling impatient, because she was used to being in control, and quickly took the bra off. Rue immediately began to suck and bite at Lexi’s nipples, letting her teeth drag over the sensitive skin. Lexi’s hand went to Rue’s curls, tugging at her hair-and it hurt so good. 

Rue couldn’t wait any longer, and pulled down Lexi’s underwear. She stopped kissing Lexi, but only for a second, as she ran her slender fingers along Lexi’s slit. Her eyes widened as she moaned Rue’s name, begging her to continue. Rue traced her finger along Lexi’s lips, to her clit, and finally to her entrance, teasing her with just one finger. She dipped her finger in and out slowly, and smiled to herself when she felt Lexi’s hips buck into her hand. 

“More.” Lexi gasped, unable to control herself. “Please baby.” Rue gave in, putting another finger in Lexi, moaning softly when she felt how tight she was. This was her first time inside Lexi. She had been giving her pleasure with her tongue for the past couple weeks-and even then, Lexi was on top, riding Rue’s face. 

“Fuck, you feel good.” Rue quickened her pace, moving her fingers deep inside Lexi. Her grip on Rue tightened, as she dug her nails into the taller girls back. They found a steady rhythm, with Lexi grinding in sync with Rue’s hand. She could feel that Lexi was getting close, the girl was practically fucking shaking. 

“You wanna cum baby?” Rue whispered into Lexi’s ear, stopping to nip at her earlobe.

“Fuck...yes...please Rue.” Lexi whined. Her whole body was so fucking sensitive. 

“Hmm, I don’t think you want it bad enough.” Rue teased, slowing down the movement of her fingers. 

“Fuck, don’t stop!”

“Beg for it.” Rue demanded, looking into Lexi’s eyes. 

“Please, baby, make me cum. Please, I want it so bad-FUCK!” She moaned loudly as Rue moved her fingers deep inside her, curling her fingers with every stroke. It didn’t take long for Lexi to cum then-she threw her head back and screamed Rue’s name, as her walls clenched around Rue’s fingers. As she rode out the waves of her orgasm, Rue kissed her breasts, her neck, any inch of skin she could get her lips on.

Lexi was breathing heavily when Rue removed her fingers. She rested her head on Rue’s shoulder, letting her body relax.

“Holy shit, Rue. That was amazing.” Rue kissed her on the cheek, marveling on how beautiful Lexi looked. “I’ve gotta let you top more often.” Rue laughed, pulling her girlfriend into a hug. 

“Yeah, you do.”

All of a sudden, the music downstairs stopped and they heard the crowd yelling, “ONE MINUTE TILL MIDNIGHT!”

“We better get down there.” Lexi said, putting her clothes back on. “You know, they say how you spend New Year’s Eve is a good indication on how the rest of the year will go.”

“Then I’m glad I’m spending it with you.” Rue smiled widely at her girlfriend- she couldn’t believe how damn lucky she had gotten. She hadn’t been this happy in a long time, and she knew it wouldn’t last, but at least Lexi would be there to get her through it. 

…

They made it downstairs just in time. BB had a giant clock on the wall, that was counting down the moments till midnight.

**10! 9! 8!**

Lexi and Rue found their friends, and they all stood in a circle, being loud as hell with their brightly colored noisemakers. 

**7! 6! 5!**

Cassie gave Rue and Lexi goofy hats with 2020 on it in gold, glittery letters. Lexi’s hat was much too big for her, practically every hat was, so Rue adjusted it on her girlfriend’s head so it wasn’t covering up the eyes she loved so much.

**4! 3! 2!**

Lexi wrapped her arms around Rue’s waist, smiling up at her, taking everything in. 

**1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

Rue leaned down to kiss Lexi, and suddenly, she could no longer hear the music or the shouting around her. She could only feel Lexi’s incredibly soft lips on her. It was Lexi, and only Lexi. Everything and everyone else no longer mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally!! lil baby Rue tops!
> 
> soooo, this is probably my last happy/fluff/smut chapter for a while, because next chapter school is starting, and i'm bringing on the angst!
> 
> let me know what y'all think <3


	10. Doom & Gloom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol don't hate me for this one....i PROMISE you rexi is endgame, i just had to shake things up a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Do you wanna get mad about... Saying nothing, being nothing, be with someone else"

Rue woke up to her mom barging through her door. She thought something was seriously wrong, considering how fucking early it was. Her mom knew not to wake her up before noon, otherwise Rue would act like a bigger bitch than usual.

“What do you want, Mom?” Rue groaned into her pillow. It was entirely too early for this shit. 

“Didn’t you hear your alarm go off?” Leslie snapped, whipping the blanket off of her daughter. “It’s your first day back.”  _ Fuck.  _ Rue had been dreading this day all break. Not only was she not the biggest fan of school (Rue found it to be a waste of her time; after all, she had no concrete goals or plans for after graduation), but she was also extremely nervous for her “public” debut with the one and only Lexi Howard. They had been romping around all break, not giving a fuck about PDA, and Rue was sure the whole town knew by now, but this was different. She was known as the school fuck-up, the addict, and now add on the school lesbian on top of that. Nerve-wracking. 

“RUE!” Alright, Leslie was really frustrated with her daughter now. “Get your lazy butt out of bed! We have to leave in ten minutes or you’re walking!”

“I’ll ride my bike, Ma, no worries.” Rue said, stretching out. She knew she still had limited time, but she didn’t want to be stuck in the car with Gia, who would surely tease her about her and Lexi’s big coming out moment. 

“Don’t be late!” Leslie called from the hallway, leaving Rue’s door open. Rue knew if she was nervous about today, Lexi must be a wreck. Everyone at school knew Rue had something going on with Jules, although they were probably just as confused about what that something meant as Rue was. But Lexi? Lexi was the quiet, shy girl in their grade, always overshadowed by her big sister. Throughout the years, guys had been interested her, but had thought her to be a prude when she inevitably turned them down. Truth is, she was GAY AS HELL, and today would be her first day parading that fact around school. 

She grabbed her phone off her dresser, knocking over candy wrappers and empty cans of Coke in the process, and smiled when she saw Lexi’s good morning text. Her girlfriend had been sending her one everyday since they became official, and Rue found it extremely endearing. 

It was uncharacteristically warm this morning, but that’s California. Rue threw on her signature outfit, a hoodie and shorts. She knew she would probably be sweating profusely by the time she got to school, but she didn’t need everyone seeing the tattoo she got for her girlfriend on her wrist, then they would really know how whipped she was. 

Rue poured herself a quick bowl of cereal, shoveling it into her mouth as Gia and Leslie rushed out the door. 

“Sure you don’t want a ride?” Leslie called out. 

“Nah, I’m good. See you there, Gia.” 

Rue had always loved riding her bike through her neighborhood, and now that she was clean, it was one of the exhilarating highs she craved. Well, besides Lexi, which was the reason she picked up the pace and pedaled faster. She was hoping she would beat her girlfriend to school, so that she could wait for her in a safe space, grounding both of them for the inevitable whispers and gossip that would float around the school.

She whipped her bike into the parking lot, locking it on the bike rack, before taking a deep breath. Rue was skinnier than most people, but damn, she was out of shape. Wiping the sweat off her brow, she pulled out her phone to text Lexi. 

_ Meet me in the bathroom by the gym before class babe.  _

For some reason, not many students went into that bathroom, which is why Rue had went in there to snort lines off the toilet paper dispenser in the past. In fact, it was the very bathroom her and Lexi had fought in after her catastrophic performance in front of her theater class at the beginning of the year. Ironic now, she was using it as a meeting spot to talk to her girlfriend (and maybe make out) before class. 

_ Ok <3 be there in ten, cassie’s taking forever.  _

Rue checked the time; they had fifteen minutes before class. Lexi was cutting it close. Rue was honestly impressed with how fast she had gotten to school, and her calves burned because of it. She slowly made her way to the bathroom, because her legs felt like jelly from the intense workout and nerves. Leaning up against the sink brought back memories of Lexi staring at her with her arms crossed, telling her how she had some sort of “split personality disorder”. Hell, she was kind of right. Rue chuckled to herself, checking the time on her phone and subsequently staring at her background, which was a photo of her kissing Lexi’s cheek on Christmas eve, and god damn, they were cute. 

She hadn’t heard someone enter the bathroom, because she was too caught up grinning like an idiot at her phone background. Someone grabbed her hand and pulled her into a stall, immediately pressing their lips on hers. It all happened so fast, but Rue was pleasantly surprised by her girlfriend’s forceful greeting.

Except it wasn’t her girlfriend. Rue started to notice that things felt...off. She smelled different, not fruity, but Rue got a familiar whiff of vanilla. Not only that, but Rue wasn’t bending down to kiss her, they were at eye level. She slowly opened her eyes into the kiss, because this couldn’t be Lexi, right?

Right. 

She saw blonde hair, dyed with streaks of pink and colorful eye makeup to match. 

_ Jules.  _

Rue immediately gasped, pushing the blonde back forcefully. “What the fuck?” She said, wiping her lips clean of Jules’ lip gloss. “Jules?” She shook her head, as if to wake herself up, but it was really Jules standing in front of her. Wearing a baby blue mini skirt with a bright pink top, she looked like the same Jules that Rue had met months ago, not the one that had left her just a few weeks prior. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I go to school here silly.” Jules smiled, and Rue felt her stomach drop.

“But...but you left.” Rue said. “And I haven’t heard from you all break, I thought you were gone for good.”

“Babe, I wouldn’t leave you. I texted you a couple nights after I left. I love you.” Jules went back in to kiss her, and Rue backed further into the bathroom door. 

“W-what? What do you mean you messaged me? Jules, I haven’t heard from you since the night you left. I was a wreck, I-”

“Rue?” She heard a familiar voice call out.  _ Lexi.  _

And that’s when everything became super fucked. 

Rue pushed her way out of the bathroom stall to find Lexi standing by the bathroom sink. She grinned widely when she saw her girlfriend, and then her face immediately dropped when she saw Jules emerge out of the bathroom stall behind her. 

“Rue, what-what are you doing?” She questioned, her lip already quivering. Rue immediately went over to comfort her, assuring her this wasn’t what it looked like when Jules piped in. 

“I’m fucking confused here.” She said, hands on her hips, staring at her and Lexi. “I know I fucked up when I left, but I told you I was coming back, that I loved you. And you ignored that and now  _ you two  _ are together?” Jules said that last bit like it was completely unbelievable, like Rue could never be interested in someone like Lexi, which honestly pissed Rue off. 

“You fucking LEFT me, Jules! What am I supposed to do, just wait around for you my entire fucking life?” Rue snapped. “And by the way, I never heard from you at all, so stop fucking lying.”

Jules pulled out her phone and opened the text thread, showing Rue the three texts she had sent to her weeks ago, all with the status “delivered” underneath them. 

“See?” Jules said, putting her phone back in her pocket. “No lies.”

Rue was so confused, her head fucking hurt. Being around these two was already too much to handle. Looking for any sort of comfort, she turned to her girlfriend and was surprised to see that Lexi was crying, her face beat red, staring at the floor. 

“Lexi, what’s-”

“Jules did text you.” She began softly, unable to look up at Rue. “I-I deleted them.” Rue felt her heart sink to the floor. Never in a million years would she think Lexi would do something like that. “I love you, Rue. I love you so much, and I knew if you saw those, you would forget all about me and go back to her.” 

“How the fuck would you know that?” Rue could feel the anger boiling in her stomach. Jules leaving had stung, but Lexi betraying her was the last thing she would have expected. “You didn’t even give me a chance.”

“Rue, please I-” Lexi begged, reaching out for Rue’s hand.

“You love me? If you really loved me, you never would have done that.” Rue spat, pulling her hand away from Lexi’s grasp. “I-I can’t trust you anymore, Lex.”

Lexi tried to get words out, but she was sobbing so violently, Rue couldn’t understand a word she was saying. And honestly, she didn’t care to. She just knew she had to get the fuck out of this bathroom, away from Lexi and Jules. 

“I need to go.” She muttered angrily, grabbing her bag, and heading to her first class. She didn’t want to go to that either, but she knew if she skipped, her mom would kill her and that’s the last thing she needed right now. 

“Rue-wait!” Jules called out behind her. 

“No, fuck off. I want nothing to do with either one of you right now.”

Rue ran her hands through her curly hair, feeling the tears well up beneath her eyes. The one person in this entire world that she thought would never wrong her did just that, and she could feel her heart slowly breaking inside her chest. 

…

Lexi collapsed onto the bathroom floor, her legs unable to hold her weight up anymore. She had never felt such a sense of grief in her life. Her throat was raw from sobbing, shoulders shaking from the weight of what she had done. Sounds were coming out of her that she couldn’t recognize and she was so overcome with sadness that she didn’t notice Jules was crouched in front of her. 

“You really shouldn’t have done that, you know. I mean, I thought we were friends.” Jules was so close to her at this point, it almost felt threatening. It helped that Lexi could barely see her, the tears blurred her vision. 

“We were never friends.” Lexi croaked. She knew she should be apologetic, but there was only one person she wanted to apologize to right now, and she wanted nothing to do with her. “I did it because you left her, Jules. I would never do that. She relapsed the night you left and I was there to take care of her.” She saw a flash of guilt cross Jules’ face.  _ Good, fucking feel bad. This is all your fault.  _ “Rue realized I was there for the long haul, and well, things just fell into place. I’ve wanted her all my life, Jules. You’ve wanted her for a couple months, and only when it was convenient to you. I wasn’t about to let your toxic ass come back and ruin everything.”

“Toxic?” Jules chuckled then, which infuriated Lexi. “You aren’t so fucking innocent here. You went through her fucking phone. That’s pretty fucking toxic. And now Rue wants nothing to do with you.” Lexi could have hit the blonde right there, even though she was speaking the truth. “Now that I’m back, you’ll go back to being her ‘friend’ that she barely hits up, if she ever forgives you that is. Your little fling is over.”

“I fucking love her, you think I’m going to give up that easily?” The grief was completely gone now, only to be replaced with complete and utter rage. “I’ve known her my whole fucking life. You were just another fucking drug to her, and she’s clean now. I’m good for her, Jules. You’re not.”

“I guess we’ll see, huh? She still seemed pretty into kissing me.” Jules was reapplying her lip gloss in the mirror, ignoring Lexi and her hands that were closing into tight fists. “You better clean yourself up, Lexi. You’re looking pretty rough.” She winked at Lexi, and went to exit the bathroom, leaving her fuming. 

_ Bring it on, bitch.  _

…

When the bell rang at three, Rue sprinted to her bike and peeled out of the high school parking lot, desperately trying to avoid Lexi and Jules, who were both probably looking for her. She felt Lexi’s gaze penetrating the back of her skull in their shared English class, and that was enough of an interaction for her. 

She decided to take a long bike ride, weaving through the streets, and purposely avoid the Howard and Vaughn residences. When she was winded, which didn’t take long, she stopped at Fez’s, hoping for a cold fizzy beverage and some advice from her older friend. 

“Sup, Rue?” Fez was lazily stretched out on a lawn chair outside his shop, smoking a blunt per usual. Rue envied him sometimes-not going to school and smoking weed all day in a store surrounded by snacks sounded like the perfect lifestyle-but she was clean now, and had to push those thoughts out of her head. “You lookin’ rough, fam. Take this.” He reached in the cooler behind him, throwing her a supersized bottle of Cherry Coke, her favorite. 

“Ugh, thanks.” Rue popped the top off and immediately began chugging the drink. She sat down next to Fez, letting out a loud burp (Rue was never the one to be ladylike) and sighed deeply. “Fuck school, man.”

“Did something happen?” Fez questioned, looking at Rue with worry. For such a dense person, he could be incredibly intuitive sometimes, especially when it came to Rue. “Where’s Lexi?”

“Fuck if I know.” Rue scoffed. “Probably scouring the neighborhood, looking for me.”

“Trouble in paradise...I see. What did you do?”

“Who the fuck said I did something?” 

“Well, what did she do?”

“She deleted texts I got from Jules a couple days after she left.” Saying it out loud for the first time stung more than Rue anticipated. “She said she did it to ‘protect me’” Rue accentuated the last two words with air quotes, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“Don’t blame her.” Fez mumbled, taking a drag from his blunt. 

“The fuck do you mean?” Rue snapped. “It was a complete invasion of my privacy, totally fucked up. I can’t trust her anymore, Fez. She completely-”

“Jules is toxic for you, bruh. I mean, look what you did when she left. You weren’t even happy when she was here.” He blew out the smoke, letting it fall over him in a haze. “Lexi makes you happy. The past couple weeks were the happiest I’ve ever seen you, Rue.” He said seriously, taking a long hard look at Rue. “Don’t throw that away. Especially not for Jules.”

“This isn’t about Jules. I mean, it is. But I’m not interested in Jules anymore.” When the words left her lips, it felt weird, but Rue truly believed them. Today just proved that. Kissing Jules just seemed...wrong now. “But I’m fucking mad, dude. Lexi is the person that’s never let me down. And today, she fucking broke me. How do I get past that?”

“Give it some time.” Fez said. For being a highschool dropout, and drug dealer, he really could give some of the best advice. “But seriously bruh. Lexi is a catch, and your best friend. Y’all can move past this, I know you can.”

Rue could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, as she moved to embrace Fez in a tight hug. “Thanks man. You had no idea how much I needed to hear that.” She gave him a couple pats on the back, slowly pulling away to get back on her bike. 

“You call me if you need anything, bruh. I gotchu.”

“Thanks, Fez.” Rue called out over her shoulder. Tears were streaming down her face as she pedaled away, knowing she was going home to isolate herself, to think through everything and to figure out what the hell was going to happen between her and Lexi. 

_ Don’t throw her away Rue. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :'( trouble in paradise for our tiny babies in love!
> 
> we all knew that lexi's decision would blow up in their faces though, so i know you guys have been anticipating this mess. 
> 
> i actually love jules, but i decided to make her into a total bitch in this fic, because why the fuck not?
> 
> as always, please comment and leave kudos! i love hearing what you guys think!  
only a couple chapters left of this one by the way!


	11. Betrayed by the Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is chock full of angst, sorry in advance lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I know we fucked it up this time, we got so high, couldn't see the bottom"

Rue was the best at isolating herself. She had been doing it her whole life, especially after her dad died. She had found comfort in the company of Jules at the beginning of the year, and Lexi over Christmas break, but her stubborn ass wasn’t ready to forgive either one of them right now. So she found herself huddled in her comforter, licking Cheeto dust off her fingers, chugging luke warm Coke. She had blasted through 4 seasons of the L Word in the past few days, and was just getting started on the fifth. 

Rue told her mom that she wasn’t hungry for dinner, when in reality, she was starving. She didn’t want a fucking interrogation while shoveling down mashed potatoes over the whereabouts of her girlfriend. She hadn’t even told Gia what happened-although she was sure Lexi had-because she didn’t want to cry anymore. At least over her own life, the drama of the TV show was distracting enough. 

But there was also an abundance of sex scenes. And Rue, being the hormonal eighteen year old she was, couldn’t help her wandering mind. Everytime a character on her screen was getting down and dirty with their partner, Rue’s thoughts drifted to Lexi. 

Lexi, who was such a dominating top. Lexi, who would flip Rue onto her back and bite all down her chest. Lexi, who would ride Rue’s face until it was covered in her fluids. Lexi, who would cum loudly, screaming Rue’s name over and over-

Rue couldn’t help it anymore- she missed Lexi’s touch. She covered herself with a blanket and began to play with the waistband of her underwear, imagining Lexi was hovering over her. She slowly dipped her fingers in, teasing her folds, marveling at how wet she was already. She must have really missed her girlfriend, because as soon as she let her fingers trace over her clit, Lexi’s name was rolling off her tongue. She quickened her pace, the feelings of arousal growing in her core. Rue closed her eyes tightly, imagining Lexi’s hot breath on her ear, nipping at the sensitive skin underneath. She was so fucking close, about to cum while moaning Lexi’s name and then- 

“Rue!” Her mom was knocking on the door, completely ruining her impending orgasm.  _ She has the worst fucking timing.  _

“I told you Mom! I’m not hungry!” Rue yelled breathlessly, removing her hand from her underwear. 

“Yeah, I know. Jules is here to see you.”

_ Jules? Really? Right now?  _ Rue couldn’t think of a good enough excuse to send her away, not that Leslie would believe her anyways. “Um, okay! Just a second.” She quickly tried to make herself presentable before opening the door. 

“Rue. Please talk to me.” Jules begged through the closed door. Rue whipped it open to see the blonde like she had never seen her before-with no makeup in a sweatsuit. At least she wasn’t the only one feeling like complete and utter shit. 

“I don’t have anything to say.” Rue snapped, sitting down at the edge of her bed. 

“Well, then let me explain.” Jules sat down next to her, and Rue schooched towards the end of the bed-she wanted to be as far away from Jules as possible. “I was...scared, Rue. Everyone was putting the responsibility of your sobriety on me, and I couldn’t handle it. Especially with all the shit going on with Nate. It was too much. So I did what I do best, I ran away. But that doesn’t change how I feel about you. I’m in love with you, Rue.”

Normally, those words would cause Rue’s heart to swell. She had wanted Jules to come out and tell her how she truly felt for what felt like forever. But it was too little, too late. It didn’t give her butterflies, it didn’t make her blush, and it didn’t cause her heart to skip a beat like how it did when Lexi told her the same exact thing. 

“I know you felt it when we kissed in the bathroom. I know Lexi was just a distraction.” Jules continued, putting her hand on Rue’s upper thigh, causing the brunette to winch. 

“A distraction?” Rue questioned, removing Jules’ hand from her thigh. “Jules, I’ve known her my whole life.”

“Yeah, and you completely ditched her the second I came into town.” Jules countered. “Is it really like what we have, Rue? How can it be? It’s  _ Lexi _ .” 

Rue could feel the anger building in her chest, causing her face to flush with heat. The way she referred to Lexi, as if Rue could never be attracted to a person that  _ plain,  _ pissed her off. Jules didn’t know her at all, and definitely hadn’t seen the Lexi Rue had come to know so well over the past couple weeks. 

“No, it’s not like what we had.” Rue mumbled through gritted teeth, finally looking over at the blonde. “It’s fucking better.” Tears began to well up in Jules eyes, falling carelessly down her cheekbones. “What did you expect, Jules? That you could leave me and I would just come running back? I’m not that weak anymore. And I’m fucking in love with Lexi. Had you not left then, who knows how long it would have taken me to realize it, but I would have eventually. You would have hurt me eventually, I just know it.” 

“Rue, I’m-”

“I don’t want to hear it anymore.” Rue responded, walking towards her bedroom door. “I’m done, Jules.” She opened the door, motioning towards Jules that it was time to leave. “Maybe we can be friends in the future, because I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss our friendship. It meant a lot to me.” Rue softened, seeing the tears now streaming down Jules’ face. “But right now, I need to make things right with Lexi. Please, go.” 

Jules ran out of Rue’s room without another word, and Rue returned to her isolation cave, working through how she would fix all the drama her girlfriend had caused.

…

Lexi was fucking depressed. She hadn’t ate, slept, or showered in days, ever since the blowout with Rue and Jules. Tonight was particularly bad, as she laid in bed staring at the ceiling, she heard her sister come in downstairs, blaring the same rap song Rue and her had danced to New Years Eve. The memories of that night came flooding back to her, causing her to sob. She reached under her bed, grabbing a bottle from her secret stash of wine she had accumulated throughout the week, and took a huge swig. She didn’t think she would ever get used to the taste of alcohol. She wondered how her mom had gotten so addicted to the stuff-it was so bitter. But at least it turned her mind off for a couple hours, and allowed her to get a solid half hour of sleep. 

However, the booze was making Lexi feel quite bold. It had almost been a week since her and Rue had spoken last. She didn’t even know if they were still dating. The uncertainity was fucking killing her. 

And she had enough. She was going over to talk to Rue. Tonight. 

Lexi tried to run a brush through her matted curls, and when that failed, opted to put it up in a messy bun. She quickly sprayed herself with a random perfume on her sister’s vanity and did a once over in the mirror. She looked like  _ shit,  _ but Rue would understand, because Lexi had honestly seen Rue look way worse. 

On her bike ride over, she practiced what she would say Rue to get her back, repeating the words over and over in her head until she had the perfect speech memorized. 

_ I know I fucked up. I wish I could take it back. But I’m so in love with you Rue. Please forgive me, I’ll do anything.  _

And then Rue would fall into her arms, and they would kiss until their lips were numb. Lexi knew it was unrealistic, as Rue was stubborn as fuck, but the wine was skewing her sense of reality. She was smiling widely as she rounded the corner to Rue’s house, until she saw something that made her slam on her brakes. 

Jules’ bike. 

On the Bennett’s lawn. 

Rue had chose her after all. 

Lexi rode all the way back home, not able to see two feet in front of her. The constant stream of tears blurred her vision so badly that she was surprised she made it to her front door. 

She grunted out a greeting to her mom and sister sitting at the dining room table, eating dinner, and proceeded to run up the stairs to her room. Cassie was hot on her tail, because her older sister had honestly had enough of seeing Lexi this depressed. She had heard rumors around school about what had happened, but hadn’t been able to get a clear answer out of Lexi. The younger Howard threw herself down on her bed, burying her head in her pillow, the one that Rue used to sleep on. It still faintly smelled like her, and Lexi inhaled the scent between sobs.

“Lex.” Cassie said softly, sitting down on the edge of her little sister’s bed. “Please tell me what’s wrong.” She could immediately smell the wine and caught a glimpse of the almost empty bottle peeking out underneath Lexi’s bed. “Have you been drinking?”

“So what if I have?” Lexi choked out in between deep sobs. “Rue didn’t chose me!”

“What do you mean? What the fuck happened between you two?”

Lexi let the whole story spill out of her, trying to catch her breath. Cassie rubbed her back the whole time, trying but failing to calm her down. Nothing could make her feel better right now, unless Rue burst through her door and took her back.

“Jules’ bike was outside Rue’s house. She must have taken her back. I’m so fucking stupid.”

“You don’t know that, Lex. From what I’ve seen at school, Rue has been avoiding Jules like the fucking plague.”

“Yeah, she’s been avoiding me too. It’s over. I know it’s over. I-I just love her so much, Cass.” Lexi continued to sob, until she fell asleep ten minutes later, emotionally exhausted and heartbroken. Cassie couldn’t stand to see her little sister like this, and no matter how much she liked Rue, she was fucking fed up with her ignoring her little sister. So, she carefully got off Lexi’s bed, trying not to wake the girl, grabbed her keys and walked out the door. 

She was going to have a talk with Rue Bennett. 

…

Rue was slowly drifting off into a cheeto-induced coma when she heard a knock on her door. 

_ Who the fuck is it now?  _

She was really hoping it wasn’t Lexi, because even if things were rough between the two, Rue didn’t want Lexi to see her with cheese-stained fingers and lips. It wasn’t exactly the hottest look in the world.

“Rue. Can I talk to you?”

_ Cassie.  _

_ This can’t be good.  _

“Um, sure? Come in.” Rue was too lazy to get up and make herself look presentable for the older Howard. Plus, maybe she would feel sorry for her and not beat her ass for blowing off Lexi, which is what Rue assumed she was here to do. 

She was almost right. 

Cassie came barging in with a pissed off look on her face. Rue knew that look. It’s the same one she gave Troy (or was it Roy?) when they had fucked around and gotten Gia high. It’s the protective sister look. And Rue did not want to mess with Cassie when she looked like this. It was honestly terrifying. 

“Um, hey Cass. What’s up?” Rue said, trying to lighten the mood. 

“You know why I’m here, Rue.” Cassie folded her arms across her chest, looking around in disgust at the state of Rue’s bedroom. “God, does Lexi actually sleep with you in this room? It’s nasty.”

“Well, I try to clean up when she-”

“Whatever. That’s not the point.” She stared at Rue with the intensity of a thousand fucking daggers and Rue honestly she thought she might die right there. “You’ve gotta make things right with my sister.”

“But she-”

“Yes, I know she fucked up. But don’t you think you are being a little too harsh?” Cassie questioned, flinging Rue’s bag of cheetos off the bed to sit down next to her. “She’s been in love with you for years. I know you didn’t notice because you treated her like shit, but I knew all along. She did what she did because she loves you Rue. And I know you love her too.”

“Of course I do. I just needed time alone to process everything.”

“Well, now Lexi thinks you chose Jules.”

“What the fuck? Why would she think that?” Rue wracked her brain, trying to think of any discernible reason as to why Lexi would think that. She had been giving both of them the silent treatment at school, going so far to take a long way to class just to avoid Jules in the hallway.

“She saw Jules’ bike here earlier Rue.”

_ Fuck. _

“I didn’t chose Jules. I didn’t even invite her over. She just came over here to talk and I practically threw her out.”

“I figured, but Lexi was drunk and her mind went to the darkest place possible so-”

“Wait-Lexi was drunk?”

“Yeah, she’s been taking to finishing off my mom’s wine for the past week. That’s all she’s been doing. Well, besides sobbing over you.”

That stung. Rue could feel her heart drop to her knees. Lexi  _ hated  _ alcohol, especially wine. She knew she must be super fucked up over this whole situation to be drinking. She had been so carefully avoiding Lexi all week that she didn’t notice the bags under her eyes, the matted hair, and the blank stare as she walked through the halls. 

“Fuck-I-I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to her.” Cassie got up, straightening out her skirt and looking Rue dead in the eyes one final time. “Make this right, Rue. Make it right, or you are gonna lose her. For good this time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's only ONE MORE CHAPTER of this saga!
> 
> thank y'all so much for being patient with me, rue's isolation cave was inspired by my own, as i spent the past couple weeks eating snacks, playing video games, and watching gay content to avoid the real world. 
> 
> but i'm back on my bullshit. for now. 
> 
> twitter is @darkjosdoormat, always loving the feedback and meeting new people in the fandom. 
> 
> let me know what you thought.


End file.
